Monday, December 31, 2007

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So how did it go?

Well, that depends on your criteria.

Explain that.

Well, I was hoping for a lot more people than came. Ultimately most of the people came not because of the subject matter, but because they knew me. It's certainly nice to have the support of people in Anchorage, so no big complaint there. Between forty and fifty people showed up, which was cool, but I was hoping for more. Well, maybe I was hoping that the amount of effort and worry I put into this thing would somehow mathematically equal the results in the end. Maybe people didn't come simply because the holidays can be a hectic and busy time of year for anything, let alone some homemade movie some nobody put together. Maybe a lot of things happened to keep people from coming or remembering when this was happening, but the fact remains that nearly fifty people came, and that's nothing to sneeze at. Maybe cough at, but certainly not sneeze-worthy.

But, all numbers aside, it was a success in every other definition of the word. Though I spent more money getting up there and renting a space than I took in from attendees, I only lost a hundred dollars or so, which is not bad at all. And now that I've put aside all numbers, I'm going to pull one back in. We sold eighteen DVDs at the showing, and the next days I sold another four, which was very encouraging, especially with a couple people buying two or three at a time. And now let's re-put that aside. People expressed their appreciation of being this subject to the light and really appreciated the film itself. One man told me that while he knew its purpose wasn't to entertain, it WAS entertaining as well as being informative. It has certainly taken me a long time to appreciation the balance in film between entertainment and information, and that comment spoke worlds of encouragement to me. The heart and information is the most important part, but the entertainment is what makes it watchable, tolerable. As the showing started, I got those goosebumps I only get when I either feel cold, or that the Holy Spirit is doing something cool, and while it was a little chilly in there, I'm quite certain it was the latter that gave me the goose flesh. Holy Spirit goosebumps are the best thing in the world, I think. At the very end of the film, I got the same feeling, and it was at that moment that I knew this had been a huge success. Though the numbers may deny my feeling of success, the sensation of the Lord blessing the room gave me all the affirmation I needed.

It's taken several days to come to these conclusions, but I'm very encouraged with the way things turned out on December the twenty-eighth. It was good, and I look forward to the next time, and the times after that. Woo hoo!

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Lessons learned, etc...

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So I started writing a blog about three weeks ago, and then the fit hit the shan, so to speak, and I got super busy all of a sudden. And then our internet at our house went out, and it won't be back up for another few days. I'm like a computer vulture right now, scavenging on other people's computers whenever I can, and when I can't, I fly up to 5,000 feet and make sweeping circles above what will soon be carrion. Heh, I wonder what carrion luggage would look like. Take a moment to pause like I am and quietly laugh to yourself about some dead animal being stuffed into an overhead bin while the huge line of impatient people behind me gripe about me blocking the aisle. Double-heh. But I digress... (Oh, and props to Denee and Steve for letting me borrow their computers, further planting seeds of dissatisfaction with my ginormous desktop and it's proliferation of jet-engines for fans. Sigh... Someday I will have my 17" Macbook Pro, and all will be right in the world.)

So I think recently I've been learning a thing or three about prayer and trust in God. As has been typical in the last 6 months, I'm thinking about showings of my film Bible Camp. I'm also thinking about the fact that every showing I've done has been an extreme disappointment. Some of you may disagree with that statement, and it is worded awfully strongly, but rather than retract the statement with a barrage of backspace, I'll just keep wordily spewing forth some sort of jilted stream of consciousness, which may or may not make sense in the end. (Oh big words, how I love thee...) And I'm back. Anyway, I've always hoped for some semblance of a sign of success with each showing of Bible Camp. My very largest showing was the very first time I got to show it to my friends in Anchorage in early July. I think there were a dozen or so people there. I showed it at my parents' house, and four people showed up. I showed it at my parents' church and I think 8 people showed up (mostly repeats from the house showing.) I showed it at Jason Reando's campus house at Multnomah, and 2 new people showed up. I talked about it and showed the trailer at my own church, and nobody showed up. I tried to show it at a large camp-supporting church in Gresham, and they wouldn't even host a showing. Basically every avenue I've tried has been a failure, in terms of number of people coming. So what have I taken away from this, aside from a unhealthy level of cynicism and sense of failure? Sometimes it's hard to say. But I'll try anyway.

So one thing I've learned through all this has been that I, like so many other people, have an innate tendency to gauge my success in terms of numbers. We all do it, I think. Bigger numbers show greater success. A graph that is taller than it is wide, shows that you're a winner. I completely understand that having that perspective is like trying to make teddy grahams out of a pile of horse dookey. It's just not realistic. I know that individuals have been greatly affected by this thing, which should make it all worthwhile. And sometimes my mood allows me to genuinely feel this way. But there is one other thing that I've really been learning, especially in lieu of my potentially-biggest showing ever: I don't pray about it.

Seriously, if there's one lesson I've learned throughout this project, it's that I can't do any of this on my own. AND YET I TRY SO HARD TO DO THAT VERY THING!!! Sorry for shouting, and all the exclamatory punctuation, but I'm kind of an idiot and I think everyone should know it. After analyzing every showing, I realized that I almost never prayed more than once for a lot of people to show up, or at least the right people. The only force anywhere that can affect whether people come or not, and I forget to place it before His enormous feet and say, "Here it is. Do with it what you will." So that's what I'm trying to do. I'm actually praying, and praying multiple times throughout the day, and not necessarily in some desperate state, but in genuine desire to communicate with God about something very important to me. It's so simple, and so good.

So I've been stressing about all the details of showing Bible Camp on the 28th in Anchorage, but have this underlying peace about it, a confidence that God's work will be done, and great things will come out of His faithfulness. It's so good! I want all you who are willing to do the same thing. Please pray for the 28th. I think significant and valuable things will come about because of it, which is a very exciting prospect. And if you're in Anchorage, please come. Bring everyone you can. It may not click with everyone, but the more people we have there, the greater chance we have of affecting someone for all eternity. So please pray, please come, and please give blood. And also forget that last one. I'm terribly excited, and I want to share it with y'all. Talk to you all soon, and in person!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Back on track

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So, in preface to what may be a silly blog, I must first confide that I am currently watching "Waiting for Guffman," my all-time favorite comedy, and a film I haven't watched in a ridiculously long time. So if there is a perceptible air of disjointedness , it's all Christopher Guest's fault. Fie on his comic genius.

So over the last month or so I've been going to an osteopathic doctor. Apparently my cycle is merging with all the females I work with, which is wreaking havoc on my school's plumbing. We still haven't figured out who the alpha female is, and why my levels of estrogen are so high. (Aaaaand a hop skip and a jump back off the first of many ridiculous rabbit trails, back on to the beaten path.) So actually I've had back problems for the last few years which usually culminate in severe stabbing pain in my lower back for a week or so, and after two weeks I'm mostly back to normal. Anyway, I wanted to see what was causing the problem, and after multiple adjustments and x-rays a conclusion has been drawn: I have a short leg. My right leg is between half and three-quarters of an inch shorter than the other. ("Stool boom, from the parlor to the pool room..." ah Guffman) So this short leg has thrown off my alignment, which gets severely aggravated every 6 months or so. The x-rays also said my back has a severe arch, which means I have to change the way I sit and stand and walk and if I found any joy in dancing that would have to change too. So yesterday I got a lift put in my shoe, which feels strange but I can feel things are straighter, so it's all good. But I can't help thinking I should be able to just live with my short leg and hunchback. And now I shall explore those thoughts.

So maybe I should make a living walking along hillsides, making sure my right leg was always the upper leg as I traversed the side of each hill. That would mean that only half of a two-way trip would have to be done in reverse, which isn't that bad. Yes, perhaps hillside dwelling is for me. That, or maybe I should invest in slightly-askew possibly condemned homes just so my right leg can sit in higher ground. And as for my being a hunchback, I should look for large places of worship who have openings for bell-ringers or bell-technicians, as long as their foundations are ever-so-slightly off-kilter. Yes. Quasidayngo shall henceforth be my moniker. So if any of y'all know of any openings for aforementioned job positions, let me know as soon as possible. My life may depend on it. Or at least my back will.

Monday, November 5, 2007

Red White Black & Blue

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So when I went to the Bend Film Festival a few weeks back, I got to see a film called Red White Black & Blue. I also got to meet the director, a really nice guy, and very talented. Anyway, thought I'd let y'all who get PBS on a nearby TV, a shortened version of the film will be playing November 6. It's a great film, and I'm sure that even as a shortened version, it'll still be great. So take a look at it if you remember to. For more info, go to www.alaskainvasion.com Thanks guys.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Thank God for you, awkwardly-unaware man!

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So in recent years I've gotten a lot better at not being judgmental of others. It used to be that I would make snide comments about people I didn't even know to not only myself, but any near-standing half-friend within earshot. With that said, I saw this guy at the gym today who was practically begging me to return to my roots of sarcasm. (I think I saw Roots of Sarcasm open for Whitesnake years ago...)

The short and sweet description of this guy: imagine a slightly older Kip from Napoleon Dynamite sauntering his heart out on an elliptical trainer. A more detailed description to follow. So here is a man in his early to mid forties, probably some sort of businessman because he is doing what seems to be non-recreational reading, and has a full manila envelope resting on the control face of the elliptical trainer. Perhaps his cluelessness is evidenced in his complete focus on his reading. He is wearing a simple white tee shirt, nothing unusual there. It's everything else he's wearing, or not wearing that makes things interesting. (Not to worry, the "not wearing" comment only holds a small weight in upcoming statements. I simply threw it in there because it makes for a titillating read.) The rest of the ensemble, from the top down, begins with the slightly yellowed, formerly white sweatband which is grasping desperately to a slightly-balding, poorly-shorn head of straw-like hair. Skipping down past the unusually usual white shirt, we can see he is wearing black spandex shorts, which only seems appropriate for a man who is moving at an astronomically intense two miles per hour on a low-impact exercise device. Not only are the shorts spandex, but they're that old sort of spandex, late-eighties or early-nineties, the slightly shiny stuff that people who don't normally exercise wear to appear like they regularly take trips to the local gymnasium. Before going on to the last item of clothing, I have to describe the piece of flesh connecting the shiny shorts with its podiatric counterpart. The legs are veiny, but not the kind where you can see the blue of the veins. These veins seem to be lumpily holding together his two generally neglected collections of half-muscle, which still seem to struggle despite the fact that the poor guy's torso couldn't have weighed more than fifty pounds. Not to be outdone, the feet are of particular magnificence. Firstly (and here's where the titillation comes to a disappointing end) they are sporting only white tube socks, which, as tube socks tend to do when not held in place by footware, have begun to floppily-increase in length. There are no shoes whatsoever. And, as if this caricature of a man could not get any more precious, he had over-large round glasses and a thin wiry mustache, no doubt to catch the eye of those gym-skanks whose outfits continually shrink to ever decreasing levels of modesty. Oh, I almost forgot the very best part. He is sporting (sporting, mind you, not just wearing) a black leather fanny-pack over the white tee shirt, just above the shiny spandex shorts. Now imagine this sight one row in front of you as you try not to laugh aloud not only at its pure unaware genius, but its comically-slow traipsing along on the elliptical trainer. Honestly I think he could have simply walked around the halls in the adjacent mall-space and gotten a better workout. But then I couldn't have basked in his splendor. Thank God for you, awkwardly unaware man. You bring a smile to the faces of people all over the internet and yet still maintain both your anonymity and dignity because I did not have my camera with me.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Film Festival hilight

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So last weekend I went to the Bend Film Festival. I remember missing it the year before, and wishing I had gone. My parents live in Bend, so I have a place to stay, making a weekend visit both feasible and affordable. The last, and only other film festival I've attended was the Anchorage International Film Festival in 2005. Jannell Brisson, as an early birthday present, bought me a pass for any and all showings at the AIFF. It was one of the best weeks I ever had to that date, so I figured I could at least get a small slice of that at the Bend festival. So I looked over all the films playing over the two days I could be there, and made myself an itinerary of 6 full-length films, and a smattering of short films, all in the span of 2 days. They also offered free Q&A kind of sessions with film-makers, organized by topic. I attended one on documentary filmmaking and one on how to promote your film once you've already finished it. They both seemed appropriate to my particular situation. Anyway, I went to the film festival to see some cool independent films, and try my hardest not to let my brain ooze out my ears from sitting for so long. But what I came away with was far more than just a couple amazing films, though there were some really amazing films.

So though the films were great, my favorite parts were the little Q&A sessions, particularly the one featuring a panel of documentarians. They talked about their craft, their inspirations, their current projects, and while nothing they said really blew my mind, I was just happy to get to listen to people who vocationally so what I want to do. Two of the filmmakers were particularly interesting to me. Tom Putnam recently made a film called "Red, White, Black and Blue" which is about Attu Island on the tip of the Aleutians. The film follows two WWII vets as they revisit the island 60 years after the 17-day battle to win it back from the Japanese. Attu is the only American soil occupied by a foreign force since 1812. Anyway, it's a great film, and for those of you who are interested, it'll be on PBS on November 6, I believe. The other filmmaker I was interested in is named Adrian Belic. He and his brother were nominated for an Oscar for a documentary they finished in 1999 called "Genghis Blues." If you're a fan of Tuvan throat-singing, (and who isn't in this crazy post-9/11 world) you'll love "Genghis Blues." Adrian's newest film is called "Beyond the Call," and was my favorite documentary of the festival. It chronicles the journeys of three post-middle-aged men as they display the most incredible humanitarian effort three independently-funded men can display. Seriously, these guys are pretty bad-ass and love helping people who can't help themselves. So, coming back to the story, Tom Putnam and Adrian Belic were pretty cool and knowledgeable guys in the business. So I decided to meet them.

For some of you, it may come as no surprise that I'm a bit of a social phobic. Well, close to phobia. Meeting new people is quite a chore for me, especially people who happen to be attractive or important. These two guys are actually eking out a living as documentary filmmakers, which is quite a feat, so I was a little intimidated. Fortunately I didn't find them attractive. That would've really been a chore. Anyway, the two of them, Tom and Adrian, were having a conversation or networking session, so I waited nearby for them to be done. I was going to talk to Tom because he seemed a little more conversational. Well, when they finished my conversation and asked if I needed to talk to either of them, I managed to rope them both in. Because Tom's film is based in Alaska, I used that as a common point, mentioning that I'm from Alaska, and that it was nice to see a film made about Alaska. We talked a bit about Alaskans and their starvation to see themselves larger than life, about how his showing of his latest film sold out its first showing, forcing a second one. I don't remember how it came about, but I got to tell them I just finished a film set in Alaska. Adrian congratulated me and shook my hand at that, and they wanted to know more about it. I told them that "Bible Camp" is a documentary about a Bible camp in Alaska's interior, a camp my grandfather started 43 years ago. I had this unusual energy as I was telling them about it, and managed to keep their attention throughout my little Bible Camp exposition. So I had the complete undivided attention of two actual career filmmakers, and got to share about the film I made about a camp I love. Wow.

After talking up Kokrine Hills a little longer, I asked them about self-promotion, ad how one gets better at it. Probably my least favorite part of this process has been the fact that I have to sell myself to everyone, and never think I do a great job. they stopped me right there and said that not only do all filmmakers have a hard time with self-promotion, but that I had in fact done a great job selling the film to them. They commended my use of knowing my audience (Alaska as a commonality) and said that I had both their attentions throughout. That was pretty much the most encouraging thing anyone could have ever said to me. Two guys who know how it works told me one of my greatest weaknesses wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. Tom even offered to view my film and let me know what he thought. They both told me I needed to submit my film to the Anchorage film festival, and that I needed to drop both their names to the guy in charge in Anchorage. Turns out the deadline for entrance into the Anchorage festival was the beginning of September, so I lost my chance, but I tried anyway. Tom and Adrian both gave me great advice on selling myself and networking, both of which are paramount to the filmmaker existence. I needed business cards and post cards with my film's info on them, didn't have either, and was chastised by the two guys for my lack of connectibles. But I suppose I hadn't ever come with the intention of even mentioning "Bible Camp" anyway, so no big deal this time. All in all, it was an incredible 15 minute interaction.

I came to a festival to watch movies, and ended up with connections to real filmmakers, something I've not had until this point. AND, I really feel "Bible Camp" got a whole new lease on life. I emailed Tom and he gave me his address so I can send him the DVD, and now I'm back on the trail to setting up showings and selling as many DVDs as I possibly can. What had become an elephant on my back, largely a film people showed little interest in, has now become a revitalized passion for me to get out into the world. Man. It's just so amazing how God will orchestrate situations to give us exactly what we need right when we need it. Woo hoo.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Woo hoo!!!!!

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So apparently there are all these beautiful single people out there! I know they're out there because myspace and facebook tell me they're there. And all these beautiful people are just so desperate to meet possible romance, they all have congregated on these internet dating sites! And apparently the same people who were single six months ago are still single! I can tell by their pictures, or those really insightful little videos that appear on my web page. So logic tells me that most single people out there are terribly beautiful, and that in order to find these people I will need to join the club. Or clubs. This is the greatest discovery since the world's first discovery was made! What a strange and beautiful place we live in! So says the internet...

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

I need a Compass

Sometimes I think it's a real shame I don't know any rich people. Of course, those times are when I need things or want things, and often when I've forgotten that God works out some pretty crazy things on a regular basis.

So I have several dilemmas, the lions-share of which could be solved with large amounts of cash, or at least decent sized little hillocks of money.

First dilemma: Daylan (sister and bestest friend extraordinaire) wants me to come to Kenya again for Christmas this year. I would LOVE to come. The issue of whether I'll come, however, is not even closely dependent upon how much I want to come. It's a spendy little journey. Today I was looking, yet again, to see how much it would cost me to get to Nairobi. I actually figured out a way to get as far as Amsterdam for $775, round trip. THAT is quite reasonable. Not bad at all. However, Amsterdam's a little less than halfway there. The second half of the journey, I've discovered, runs no less than $3100, round trip. Ah. A slight increase. I realize holiday travel anywhere warm will run high, but seriously folks. Maybe someone who can afford those sorts of tickets can buy one for me too. I make a delightful traveling companion, don't complain about ridiculously small spaces for long legs, and exude the fresh scent of pine wherever I go. I'll even bring my guitar and serenade you, the rich European reading this silly American's blog, for the entire nine hour flight. I will. Believe that. Anyway, unless Daylan can meet me halfway (which wouldn't be a bad idea anyway, wink, wink... Paris, London, Amsterdam, Rome, wherever is realistic for both parties), and barring the support of the independently wealthy (though those of you who are dependently wealthy should not consider yourselves completely out of the game), there will probably be no Daylan present in my Christmas plans.

Second dilemma: I need to upgrade my computer equipment. Up to this point, I've only mentioned how ludicrous (Thank Bill Gates for spell-check. I just spelled ludicrous like the misspelled name of the rap artist of homophonic nomenclature. Oh, and according to a previous phrase, one might make the mistake of equating Bill Gates with God, as in the phrase, "Thank God for..." but very few things could be further from the truth... though I'm now quite tempted to think of those things which would be further from the truth. Suggestions?) are the thousands of dollars required to get to Kenya around Christmas. What I haven't mentioned is how little actual cash money I have. I believe I have around a couple hundred dollars to my name, and it should stay around that until the end of November, according to my calculations. A far cry from the pre-Bible Camp documentary days. Did I used to be fabulously wealthy? Maybe just pleasantly wealthy, or financially secure. But after buying a ton of video equipment and producing a DVD which has not only proven unpopular (strictly from a sales perspective, I assure you), but whose proceeds are largely going to a camp and not to cost recovery. Not that I'm whining, but those of you who know me well know I am a whiner by nature. Anyway, he said after a typically long-winded though eloquent rabbit trail, I ain't got no money, and need a new computer. I'm trying to join Pioneers, a mission organization that has recently assembled a media division I want to be a part of. This will require me to be portable, which currently I am not, unless I can buy a donkey to haul all my junk around all the time. I would name him Compass, not because of his directional skills, but because his job would be hauling my hefty COMPuter around. Anyway, the computer I am looking at getting is a spendy little bugger, and, in my current work situation, I have no way of affording it anytime soon, if ever. On top of that, I want to upgrade my video camera and one of my microphones if possible, though that's more of a want than a need at this point.

Basically I need a miracle to pull off any of this. So, if you're so inclined, give a shout out for me as you pray. Not only could I use the miracle for practical purposes, but it would also be a pretty compelling reason to believe even more strongly in the sovereign power of the Almighty.

I'll let y'all know if anything develops. Peace, brethren.

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Question

So I have a question for both of you who read my blogs. As you know, my blogs tend to be quite long. The last one was three pages when I typed it in Word. So my question is this: are they too long? Or, if you prefer, would shorter blogs be more enjoyable or interesting? One reason I want to know is that a long blog takes around two hours to write, which is a lot of time to spend on a regular basis, which is why my blogs only come every couple weeks or months or so. I'd love to write more regularly, but it's quite an investment for me. Anyway, let me know. Thanks.

Dayn

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Imitation, or Something Like It

To take a phrase completely and shamelessly out of context, “there is nothing new under the sun.” This lunchmeat of a phrase, even without its textual bread to rein in its meaning, is certainly food for thought. (I know a terrible pun when I see it, but am not preoccupied in the least about its poor reflection on my sense of humor, or lack thereof, and therefore, with reckless abandon, pull the pin and throw it in, along with a ridiculous parenthetical run-on sentence, for good measure.) But seriously, that there is nothing new under the sun may not be wholeheartedly true, but it’s awfully close. Disgustingly close.

Right now I work in the Portland School district, the first moderately urban environment in which I’ve worked. I mention my job’s urbanity because I believe it’s directly tied to the thoughts I’ve recently been harboring. The school I am at is now a K-8 school, not counting the preschool which also operates within its walls. So I get the opportunity to observe an eleven-year age span, and the contrasts (or similarities) within. One other factor relates to a major change that has recently taken place in the school. In an effort to consolidate neighboring buildings, the Portland school district combined my previous school with a neighboring middle school, a move which has been in process for the last couple years. Eventually the school will be home to students all the way from Kindergarten through eighth grade, meaning no schools will feed into the middle school like most other middle schools. However, as this is the first year the schools have been combined, there is a disproportionately large eighth grade class which is bussed in from a much larger area than its eventual goal area. The area which will eventually be served by this school will consists of a large group of upper-middleclass kids, and a smaller group of lower-class students, kids in a much harsher home environment. This year, however, as we move the last large class of eighth graders out, the amount of lower-class students remains quite high. There is also a classroom in our school which is specifically for kids with behavioral problems, which also adds to the aura of the school.

Part of my job involves going outside to recess during the eighth-grade lunch and recess. At other schools in which I’ve worked, recess has been one of my favorite parts of the day. Kids tend to be more relaxed, and I sometimes get the chance to play with them, which is not only a good way to bond with them, but can be a treat for me in the middle of the day. This is not the case for me this school year. I don’t really enjoy recess in this chaotic, seething mass of prepubesence. The overwhelming majority of students I am in contact with have serious attitude issues, even more so than I usually think of with middle school aged kids. Last week as I broke up an F-bomb-laden fight between a guy and a girl, the guy decided to have the last shove, resulting in a confrontation with me. He thought I was challenging him, and began readying himself for a fist-fight with me, something I was neither excited about, nor sure I could properly defend myself. Fortunately his friends began trying to calm him down, and as it blew over I pretended not to hear him and his F-ing language directed toward me. There weren’t any more problems with that crowd for the rest of that recess, thank the maker, but I kept an eye on them for the rest of the time they were out there. I was a little worried about how I would handle this sort of confrontation in the future, but was also a bit fascinated that a kid would ever think that was an acceptable way to behave. Call me old fashioned, call me stingy, call me Daynty, but I don’t really see where that sort of behavior has a place in society. However, it did give rise to much thought about behavior as it relates to environment, and as it relates to imitation.

We all learn by imitation, though some of us think we’re some sort of original creative genius, an intellectual being of great proportions. (Or maybe it’s just me that quietly, secretly, modestly wishes people would see my incredible intellect and wit.) As babies, we experience life in its purest form, untainted, if only for a fraction of a second. Soon thereafter we begin to lose our originality, imitating behaviors, expressions, tones, language. Soon we are the sum of the parts around us, though not always greater than the parts themselves. Early in life we are already posers, differences in behaviors greatly influenced by our environment. Now, I do think there are certain parts of our personalities which we have carried since our introduction to this world, but the way that personality takes its form can be adjusted or altered by the things around us we unintentionally imitate. So to me, it’s not imitation that bothers me, it’s what is being imitated that gnaws at the back of my brain, occasionally breaking down the dam which holds back my reserve of intense sadness. I look at a lot of the kids at school and am just so sad to see the things they imitate, and how mindlessly they do it.

One of the worst things I see imitated relates directly to racial stereotypes, which may be one of the saddest things I see on a daily basis. So much has been done in this country to try to make people equal, from desegregation to the feminist movement. The historical figures who have spent so much of their lives fighting inequality, fighting bigotry, fighting for freedom, have fought such incredible battles, not only against their persecutors, but also against their own people, the ones who fall so neatly within racial stereotypes. Granted, without knowing people’s personalities, I have no right to judge their insides based on their outsides. But, (and it’s certainly a big but) based on observations at my own school, certain groups of kids just seem so perfectly stereotypical. From the elitist white kids, to the gangsters and hiphop-posers (I’m a little skittish about mentioning any other races than white for fear of sounding judgmental, so I’ll let the reader fill in their own blanks), it’s intensely sad for me to see that all the hard work public figures have done in an effort to promote equality, quickly undone daily by the up and coming generation. The propitiation of stereotype is especially evident when I observe the kids I directly work with.

Because I work with kids who are a bit slower mentally, it can often be very similar to working with very small children. In both groups, imitation is a necessary way to learn. In an educational environment, it is absolutely paramount to not only teach things like behavior, but everything must also be modeled. At school this seems to work to our advantage, at home this can often work to their detriment. In a non-structured environment, so often the only choice for a lot of these lower-class kids, they learn to imitate SO many things I’d call negative. Especially since so many of these kids hav unrestricted access to television and the internet. Those of you who know me know that when it comes to film and music, I’m a total snob. I love intellectually stimulating art. I’m constantly reminded that the majority of people don’t share that love, or maybe it just takes a different shape for other people. Now, my artistic prejudices often extend to genres of music like rap and hip-hop, not because I don’t think there’s any artistic integrity, but because there’s just very little creativity. It is often very basic, rhythmic, and often maintains very primal subject matter: sex and violence. Granted, sex and violence are commonplace in our world, but there’s something very disturbing about its animalistic nature. (Actually, for anyone really interested in an interesting perspective on music as it relates to the human soul, real the first chapter of Tolkien’s “The Silmarillion,” the section about Eru’s creation of the world and the accompanying songs of angels and demons. A fascinating take on creation. And yes, it’s uber-nerdy.)

I recently bought a new TV, allowing me to now watch all sorts of high-definition programming, which I find quite enjoyable as I simultaneously scratch my protruding Neanderthal brow and my backside, and gaze in stupor at the shiny thing I now own. Oregon Public Broadcasting, as a part of their eternal fund-raisers, played a half-dozen episodes of a show called “Travels to the Edge with Art Wolfe” wherein photographer Art Wolfe goes to remote or exotic places around the globe to photograph the people or animals of that region. It really is an incredible show, as fascinating as it is beautiful. One of the shows that was stuck in my mind was about a trip to South Georgia Island, deep in the South Atlantic. On this island live many types of animals, including a ferocious type of seal which came very close to attacking the photographer for getting within thirty feet of it. Without warning, they would attack each other in a way that tells you there is no way these things will ever be domesticated. As I watched the seals posture and jockey for position, I was saddened to realize the similarities between these wild animals and a handful of the kids at my school. It proved to be a very powerful example of animal nature, and stuck in my brain as I watched the kids at my school interact. Animal nature is in part due to the need for survival being greater than a need for almost anything else. So it’s only fitting that sex, keeping the species alive, and violence, protecting oneself from death, are extremely basic parts of the animal kingdom. Which is why I get so miffed at hip-hop and rap artists whose content is restricted to simple animal nature, showing very little evidence of higher thought or intellect. And, being the posers they are, kids DO INDEED imitate the stuff.

Most of the kids in my class love this kind of music, and whether they mean to or not, they imitate these people. They cop attitudes whether they fully understand what they’re doing. They dress like these people. They act like these people. They know little beyond basic animal nature, survival, and as unintentional imitators, they are a product of their environment. Like little puppets on a dilapidated stage. But what they don’t realize is that the guys they’re imitating are themselves imitators. Within genres, there is very little innovation. It’s all imitation, and often it’s shoddy imitation. We live in a ridiculous vacuum of imitation. Honestly I can’t see anything different between Soulja Boy, T-Pain, and all those other ridiculously misspelled or abbreviated names. (Good grief, it’s no wonder kids these days can’t spell.) The only way we see creativity is when someone’s scope of imitation of so broad, they actually appear to be an original. But ideas have to start somewhere, I suppose.

Imitation. We all do it. It’s necessary, but to what extent? Is there anything new under the sun, or is everything out there simply imitation? Is there hope for those in a restricted scope of imitation? Can stereotypes be defeated with a larger scope of imitation? Or am I simply a self-righteous SOB. It’s hard to say, I suppose. Food for thought, though. Sandwich anyone?

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Parallels to Tony

There is some sort of restlessness upon me. The sort of restlessness I get when I see a commercial airliner high overhead, traveling seemingly-straight-up in grand slow-motion, chased by clingy contrails, acting as veritable Hansel and Gretel cookie-crumbs of the sky. The sort of restlessness I feel accompanies by either complete complete unfamiliarity or totally lethargic complacency. I have no idea whether it is because I'm sitting outside a Portland coffee shop in the sun of an eighty-five degree mid-September afternoon, a total fantasy to my Alaska-bred sensibilities. It could be that I'm suffering in the slight blue haze of the cigarette behind me, whose master is not so much enjoying it as he is needing it. Cigarette smoke often gives me strange sensations: possibly mild discomfort, possibly pure curiosity about smoking's origins. Perhaps my restlessness is simply internal, a constant pillow-fight in my head as I continue gently beating myself, in the hopes of figuring out who I am. A soft but constant presence in an already crowded cranium. Perhaps it's due to the discovery that not only am I a creature of habit and in desperate need of structure, but that there is nothing inherently weak or wrong about either of those things. Maybe I'm restless because I want things I'm not ready for, or maybe it's due to a constant and ever-changing search for meaning. Maybe I'm restless because where I live doesn't feel like home, but neither does my old home. Some sort of quasi-permanent vagabondage. Maybe I'm too concerned with other people's agendas, and not enough with myself. Maybe it's because this life of second-guesstimation has finally caught up with me and fried my nerves. Again. Maybe it's my constant comparisons between who I was and who I am now. Maybe I live in the past and the future, but never in the present.

Or maybe I've just had too much coffee.

But the fact remains that I'm restless. And, surprisingly enough, I'm a little excited about it. Restlessness is an agent of change, an indicator of energy, even if it's potential energy and not kinetic. Something big is on the horizon. Any day now. Any day.

Or as Stephen Sondheim put it in West Side Story...

Could be!
Who knows?
There's something due any day;
I will know right away,
Soon as it shows.
It may come cannonballing down through the sky,
Gleam in its eye,
Bright as a rose!

Who knows?
It's only just out of reach,
Down the block, on a beach,
Under a tree.
I got a feeling there's a miracle due,
Gonna come true,
Coming to me!

Could it be? Yes, it could.
Something's coming, something good,
If I can wait!
Something's coming, I don't know what it is,
But it is
Gonna be great!

With a click, with a shock,
Phone'll jingle, door'll knock,
Open the latch!
Something's coming, don't know when, but it's soon;
Catch the moon,
One-handed catch!

Around the corner,
Or whistling down the river,
Come on, deliver
To me!
Will it be? Yes, it will.
Maybe just by holding still,
It'll be there!

Come on, something, come on in, don't be shy,
Meet a guy,
Pull up a chair!
The air is humming,
And something great is coming!
Who knows?
It's only just out of reach,
Down the block, on a beach,
Maybe tonight . . .

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Steinbeck and Copland

It's not often that I'm terribly excited to be American. Not that I don't love the freedoms afforded people of this nation, but we've been given a reputation as a bunch of loud-mouthed idiots who give the bird to the rest of the world as we do whatever the heck we want. I don't know about anyone else, but I'm not a big fan of that label. Going overseas at the end of last year, I didn't know how things were going to pan out for me as an American because we're just not popular to anyone other than ourselves. And actually, I've never even cared for American history, never cared all that much about America's industrial revolution, the incredible changes we've made in the last hundred years.

A year ago I bought a copy of The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck, right around the time I had freshly relocated to Oregon. Sometimes I get in this mood where I feel like my education is leaving me, and that I need to immerse myself in something, anything stimulating. So I decided to tackle a piece of classic American literature. It was AMAZING! Never have I read something that was so subtle in its characterization and so enjoyably American. The plight of the common man. Wow. The Grapes of Wrath made me better appreciate being American. Before I left for Alaska in June I went to Powell's Bookstore with Daylan and she told me if I wanted another Steinbeck novel, I should go for East of Eden. The beauty of these books is that I've heard the titles many many times but had no idea what they were about. I finished that one by early August, and again I appreciated not only the characters in this masterpiece, but the distinctly American setting. America didn't seem so stuck up and high and mighty for five or six-hundred pages of literature.

Many of you know I'm a bit of a technology freak, especially when it comes to film and audio quality. Several years ago I bought a DVD player that would play special super-high-quality CDs. Actually one of the formats is called Super Audio Compact Disc. Basically these recordings sound much closer to the way they were played. Maybe it's the kind of thing only a guy like me can appreciate, and if that's the case, I'm okay with that. I LOVE these recordings. They're harder to find, and mostly jazz and classical recordings, but when listened to on nice speakers or good headphones, it's just incredible. Anyway, last night I found my SACDs and popped in one I hadn't heard in a while, a recording of some of Aaron Copland's classical works. It was pretty amazing that as soon as I heard this music, so distinctly American, I instantly thought of the two Steinbeck novels I've read. American in its truest and best sense. So all this to say, I want all of you to go out and buy two things: a recording of the works of Aaron Copland (look for Fanfare for the Common Man or Lincoln Portrait or An American in Paris or Appalachian Spring or Rodeo - they tend to come with several pieces altogether) and a copy of Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath. And if you don't rekindle your love for America, or at least breathe a breath of fresh air on the dying embers of your American patriotism, then perhaps you should consider living somewhere else. Steinbeck and Copland, and, to add another artist to the mix, put up a bunch of posters of Norman Rockwell paintings. It just might work. Let me know if it does.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

School, school, school, school, school!!!!!

I think there are few things in life less efficient than elementary school training sessions. Not that I expect too many of my friends to be able to empathize with having to sit through seven hours of school staff-meetings, though I imagine there are quite a few equivalents in this world of commerce in which we live. So here's how a meeting goes. First, the topic is announced, which may or may not be followed by a variety of disclaimers, last-minute additions to the previous topic, and/or ironically child-like chatter as we all give our under-the-breath opinion on the impending topic. Then the topic, playground safety for example, is presented by a staff member, who mistakenly says the list of rules is still a draft and subject to change. There's nothing wrong with people knowing a list is subject to change, but when announced to a group of "I'm looking out for number 1" (or any other grade from 1-8 at our school) kind of people, announcing it's subject to change means it is immediately subject to change. So rather than first having the list read aloud in its entirety, or even having people read it to themselves and then submit suggestions/caveats in writing, a five minute subject is now a sixty minute subject. Everyone, and somewhat rightly so, feels entitled to let everyone else know how each and every rule and decision will affect their grade or class differently than every other grade. One group of kids should be allowed to play in a clump of trees, while another group is forbidden. Should we allow dodgeball if it is contained to a specific area of the field? How are transitions between different grades' lunches going to be done, and why can't we do it a different way? Should older kids be allowed to use the playground equipment? Should each class have their own bin of balls and jumpropes, or should we have one large community bin, and why? Can God create an object that is to heavy for him to lift, and if he fell while picking up such an object and nobody was around, would he make a noise? If He did make a noise, what would it sound like, and how could we ever know for sure? What is our exit strategy for Iraq? If a woodchuck were able, hypothetically speaking, to chuck wood, how much wood could he chuck? Etcetera, etcetera, ad nauseam. Good grief. If I were running these meetings, man we would get SO much done! Well, I'd like to think so. Some of you know that I really enjoy efficiency of all sorts (yes, I realize that this is not entirely applicable to everything I do, and I'm in partial hypocrisy already, but better partial hypocrisy than total, I sometimes say) Energy efficiency, fuel efficiency, efficiency of speech (though I do enjoy using lots of words to say very little, hence the blogs I write, but in everyday application out in the world I'd rather get through interactions with a lot of people than dwell in them. Coldhearted? Yes. Realistic? Also yes.), efficiency of movement. So these meetings can be absolute torture. But I guess we don't have that many of them, so I'll only be a little irritated now and again, rather than all the time, unless you're one of the above-mentioned not-dwelling-in-the-interaction kind of people.

Since I am talking about jobs, I should explain how I got my current one. So at the end of last school year, I told everyone I wouldn't be coming back, and that I'd moving forward to things I'd rather do. And I still want to, but to live one needs a job. One thing I forgot to do, however, was submit a resignation form. So in spirit I had resigned, but in reality I had not. So a couple weeks ago I got a call from Portland Public Schools offering me a position at the school I was at last year. I wasn't interested, so I told the person on the phone that I had no intention of working for the district, whereupon the person on the phone told me I needed to submit the proper paperwork. So I looked all over the website and called people in human resources, but got no answers. All the while I had been looking for work and not having much luck. It really takes either connections, or experience, and I pretty much only have either of those with both the Anchorage and Portland school districts. I had submitted an application for a new REI going in four or five miles from my house, which sounded great, but I didn't hear back from them. Anyway, after a couple weeks of stressing about work (the twitching I get from heavy stress was just beginning to kick in) I had a revelation. I had been offered a job, and yet I was stressing out over getting a job. "What is my deal?" I began to think. So I decided that since I already have a job, I should probably take it, especially one that pays decently, the benefits are already active, and I sort of know what I'm doing. So today I went to the school I was told to show up at, thinking maybe the job I had been offered was still mine for the taking. I don't think it actually was still mine, mostly because nobody had any idea I was coming, and nobody could figure out where I was supposed to be. So while I was sitting through the aforementioned meetings, one of the school secretaries was on the phone helping figure out what I was to do. A couple days ago, one of the Para Educators (that's what they call people who do my job) had to step down, and a replacement had been arranged, though the school hadn't been informed as to who the replacement was. So, they had been assuming it was me, since they didn't have any idea who the replacement was. I knew deep down that it couldn't have been me because I had been called weeks before. Anyway, by the time school was out, I was officially the new Para in a life-skills class at the school, and the other person who should've had my job was reassigned. Or at least I hope they were. Anyway, all this to say, God was pretty danged faithful to me, allowing me to have a job that probably wasn't mine in the first place. And, as icing on the proverbial cake, the class sounds like a lot of fun, and the teacher is young and has a reputation as a great teacher. I didn't think I'd be happy to be working at a school yet again, but I was. You know when the Psalmist pleads all those times for God not to forsake him? I've been trying so hard in recent days to not be like that, but there has always been a tiny seed of doubt, a little seed that says I will be forsaken. And the funny thing is, much of the time I don't know what I need. Maybe working at the school was exactly what I needed. I'm actually looking forward to working in this position, and that's an exciting thing. (Oh, and REI DID call back after I'd decided to take the school position. I could've been hired there... for $8.50/hr, part-time, and would have had to wait for my benefits to kick in if I ever went full-time. So what I thought would be a much better job wound up not being good at all. God's awful good to me.)

Friday, August 24, 2007

Be Still My Soul

And now for an unprecedented second blog in one day.

At the end of the century, Finland was enjoying the works of its greatest composer, Jean Sibelius (1865-1957). It was also trying to survive its Russian occupation, its people in great oppression. In this time of turmoil, Sibelius composed what was to become his most recognizable work: Finlandia. This was a poem to the country he loved. On July 2, 1900 it debuted, and became the voice of the people desperately loving their beloved Finland and wanting to be free from the oppression of the Russian Czar. In times of political unrest, the people were forbidden to perform Finlandia, a testament to its power among the people.

The piece itself begins in great turmoil, begins to move, quiets down to one of the most beautiful melodies I've ever heard, and concludes with the same melody in great triumph. It became well known around the world, eventually prompting lyricists to take the gorgeous melody and add words. Finland has its own lyrics for the song, but the lyrics I always think of are those of the hymn Be Still My Soul. Right now I think it is my favorite hymn of all time because of its beauty of melody AND lyrics. Get a hold of Finlandia to hear it in its original glory. Here are the lyrics for Be Still My Soul.


Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, believing, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.

Parenthetical journeys through Sufjan

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So I think I'm obsessed with Sufjan Stevens. Maybe it's the fact that when I open up iTunes, it's the only word that starts with "sufj," and therefore very easy to search for, eliminating SO many extra keystrokes. And as we all know, every single keystroke puts us all that much closer to carpal tunnel syndrome, forcing us all to buy those ugly tan or black wrist braces, a herd of Americans with the inability to give the world a proper wave of the hand. A sad sight, for sure. And now for a hop, skip, and a jump back off the rabbit trail, onto the unsteady ground of the path I've chosen for this particular piece of literary mastery. ONWARD TO SUFJAN!

I'll admit that the first I herad of Sufjan was a bit narrow, a cloistered collection of chords and choruses crammed into cramped quarters (be sure not to pronounce quarters like "kwarters" like so many old people love to do, so as to keep the alliterative nature of the last phrase alive and well. This time around be sure it's said "korters" like any uneducated American would say... "Ouch, two mild digs on Americans in one Blog," he said as he dreamed of Canada and their silly Mounties, a possible epithet for the Canadian people. Forget calling them Canadians, lets call them all Mounties. Man, now a dig on Canada. Is there no safe North American country? And SO many parenthetical statements...) Okay, so the first person who showed me Mr. Stevens, to get back to the path yet again, was Rachel Lautaret, who showed me the songs that she loved the most on his Michigan album. The funny thing was, because she showed me only a few songs, I had no idea what else he wrote, and had a very myopic view of his lyricism and musicality. And, to be honest, the times I had been shown the music were very low times for me, depressed times, and therefore that music instantly became associated with a depressed state. (A lot of my friends are probably thinking, "WHICH time you were depressed, you sorry sack of, uh, something?" and to that I say touche.) I've found that when I'm depressed, I'd rather not listen to things that encourage such a state. For instance, the soundtrack for Schindler's List has found very little play time for me, despite its haunting beauty and beautiful solos by Itzhak Perlman. Some people I know play themselves sad music when they're sad, which seems to make sense, except most times I'd rather not wallow in my sadness, and would rather crawl out of the dark cave into which I so willing and headlongly dove. SO, he said emphatically trying to get back on track, I didn't listen to much Sufjan after my first exposure to it, until one day in June I had a random craving for it.

So, before I left for a month in Alaska, I bought "Michigan" off of iTunes. Since I really hadn't heard much of his music, aside from a few select tracks, it was really like listening to an entirely new album. From what I understand, most people (most people I know, that is) tend to look for lyrical goodness in the groups they listen to, which is why Cash and Dylan enjoyed such amazing success. However, I grew up playing band and orchestral music, growing a deep appreciation for, and a deep obsession with musical greatness. In fact, I think the only music group I listened to that even had lyrics was Dave Matthews Band. (Not until later did I realize that a large proportion of his music is a selection of veiled hormonal lyrics. He's kind of a dirty man, but he makes it sound so cool... dang it.) It wasn't until three or four years after I graduated from high school that I began to appreciate great lyrics. Anyway, all that to say that my main focus in all music is the music itself. How do they use meter, keys, rhythm, creative chording, layering, dynamics, and a whole slough of other things. I've also found that many many people hate complexity or creativity in their music, which drives me mad. I suppose that's why pop music enjoys so much success. I understand that there's a pretty big following of Sufjan, and listening to the lyrics, I know why. They're positively dripping with color and shadows of meaning, well thought out, and filled to the brim with gooey depth. But the music is good too! "Can it be?!" I may have thought to myself. "Is it possible?" He plays all his own instruments, from what I understand, which I both greatly appreciate, and moderately dislike. The only dislike, really, comes with his trumpet playing. Most people won't notice anything wrong with his trumpeting, but being a trumpet player, it has, on occasion, mildly irritated me in its roughness and inaccuracy. However, with each album he's gotten better, so that's good. So I was thrilled with "Michigan," and upon returning from Alaska I bought his "Illinois" and "The Avalanche" albums, both of which are truly works of art.

That's another thing I've had a problem with in modern music. The album as a whole has potential to be greater than the sum of its parts. Some groups have tried operatic approaches, giving a true storyline, characters, and theatrical elements to their albums, which is an admirable idea, but comes across as too obvious. The truly great albums, to my mind, are the ones that play like one great work, are tied together, but in a much more subtle way. In music, it's subtlety that's so much harder to approach, which is why it's so hard to find. I imagine it's a cross-media artistic challenge, how to communicate depth of ideas without the kick to the groin approach which is so much easier. Life in general is much more subtle than a series of punctuated events. I know in an EKG chart of my life, the spikes certainly stand out, but they don't effect everyday life much at all. It's the more level ground that shows motion and change, undoubtedly affected by the spiked important events, but not radically changed right away. Anyway, I see Sufjan's music as a bit of a replica of that life EKG chart. Always moving forward, always changing, punctuated with real brilliance, but not afraid to come off the high and tie it all together with something mellow. To my mind, it's one of the more popular artists where I've said to myself, "I like this, so why do other people like this? What is it that makes this type of creativity so much less offensive to people's ears than what I normally listen to?"

So I hope I will soon come off my Sufjan high, not because it's not worthy of so many listenings, but because I so many other great artists to listen to. So check him out if you haven't already. And don't be scared that I like him. He's good to other people too.

Monday, August 20, 2007

1500

1500.

Just now I sat down and worked out a rough (give or take a hundred hours) estimate on the amount of time I've spent in the last year working on "Bible Camp," the documentary I'd been assembling since June of last year. 1500 hours. That number means a lot of things to me. First and foremost (I hate that phrase... overused [kind of like "..."]) it means that it took me way way way longer than it should have to finish. I guess a freshman effort should ultimately not be terribly efficient, but seriously, 1500 hours is a long time. I suppose most people who make documentaries have a crew that they work with instead of the few people I had help for small portions (thanks especially to Jessica Clark who has worked so hard on the DVD cover, and to Tony for helping me record the Bible Camp theme.) Perhaps this says something about the body of Christ. Were I to have worked in a body of filmmakers, or a body of people who work in specialized fields, the whole thing would have worked more smoothly, to my mind. I was trying to be the entire body, though to my credit, it was somewhat of a necessity because my budget only allowed for me to work on it (though I'm sure the right people would have worked for free and still loved it. I know I did.) But 1500 hours, wow, that's a bunch. Much more than I would have thought possible. When I was still just theorizing how the project would work out, I was thinking it would all be done by the end of the summer of 2006, but that was certainly naive and unrealistic. Could it have been done quicker, absolutely. Hindsight being a golden 20-20, I could've easily taken weeks, even months off the thing. Next time, eh?

Speaking of next time, I had a funny dream last night. Last night, before I dreamed, I saw an interview with Simon Cowell, the mean-spirited judge from American idol. On the show they said he makes something like $36million for a season of Idol, about the same for a season of the British version of the show, and just signed a contract with Sony/BMG records as a consultant kind of guy for $100million. Those were extraordinary figures to me, and I think it carried on into my dream because I dreamed about Mr. Cowell a couple hours later. So in my dream, I think Simon lived in the same house as me, or at least nearby, and for some reason he was talking about ways to invest his money. I suggested that I wanted to make another film, and I can't remember how it came up, but I wanted to make a film about blind people who do visual art, not that I know anything about that. So I asked Simon if he'd be willing to invest in the film. He said, "Sure," like it wasn't a big deal, and then later made a deal with him that if I could get things arranged, he would give me a million dollars to make this film. The rest of the dream was a little less cohesive, something about chasing around a mentally-challenged friend of mine around this sort of classy food-court (contradiction in terms? Perhaps.) He needed tape to hang something up. Actually, maybe I was the mentally-challenged one. I can't remember. It was a little stressful. So when people say "In your dreams" to thoughts of million-dollar filmmaking budgets, it happens. Also, it's incredible I remembered a dream at all. Maybe happens once a month. Mostly because I am a soul-less monster.

My apologies for the somewhat scattered nature of this blog. I wrote it at two different times, months apart, and now I must move on. Hope it all finds you well. Well and good. Wood.

Oh, and check out the new Bible Camp trailer.