Nearly two and a half years ago I completed my first (and only) feature-length documentary, "Bible Camp." It was almost entirely a solo project, and took up the better part of two years (and almost all my savings) of my life from conception to realization. The video was received well by the few who viewed it, but created a rift in my own heart: one part of myself wanted credit and to at least break even financially, and the other part just wanted the camp's story to be told and help bring new light to a great ministry. The latter has happened to a very small degree, and the former never happened. It's been something I've needed to move past for the last few years, but have never quite made it. I never recovered financially from the project, and every blue moon I let that get the best of me, much to my chagrin. It's not that I want it looming over me, but it comes up so infrequently that I rarely have to deal with it at all.
On top of those issues, the camp has changed in the years since I filmed it, though (debatably) perhaps not for the better. The current leadership has changed things so much that my family has almost entirely pulled out of the camp. It's a bit of a sore spot for many of us who have been involved for decades. Even a source of hurt and anger for some who have a vested interest in seeing the kids of the Koyukon learn of the grace and love of our Savior, even amid the despair and death of the village.
This morning I got an email from the current leadership saying they plan to make a documentary about village ministry, and would like access to the camp historical footage I shot. I have no idea what to do. I don't agree with where the camp is heading right now, but don't want to let my hang-ups get in the way of things. I'm so very confused as to what I should do.
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4 comments:
I started to comment on this, then changed my mind. THEN. I woke up thinking about it, which was weird, I think it's because I had a mocha, the likes of which (coffee/chocolate/caffeine combo) tends to keep me up way too late. Anyhow.
Not very much stuff frustrates me, as I'm pretty NON-prone-to-frustration, but what you described, this WOULD frustrate me. Badly.
There's the family element, and loyalty and all that. And there's the hard work that sort of hung out in the air afterwards. And then, the part that really irks me, there's the people whom you don't necessarily support wanting your literal and physical support.
That's tough.
I don't have any answers (not that you were asking). I'm just saying, I can see why this would be a conundrum.
My gut reaction: don't give it to 'em. :)
Yeah. I think I'd be a little (very little) bit more okay about the whole situation if it hadn't come completely out of the blue. I certainly didn't ask to be in this position. Talked with my dad and my uncle about it, and gained a little insight and wisdom, though not enough necessarily to make it a completely clear-cut choice. We'll see how this all plays out in the next few days...
I hear you.
To work so hard to promote something (not merely a location, but an actual IDEA, an ACTION, a life-changing thing) and then have that promotion (possibly) watered down to promote a mere location would be disheartening. But maybe they won't be promoting just a location. And I'm sure it'll all work itself out.
You're surrounded by lots of very wise people, so that's good.
Ugh. This is a conundrum and a third, Dayn. I don't like it one tiny bit. What on earth will you do??
Signed, Miss Helpy Helper
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