Making up for lost time...

Hey everybody.

I have a friend who described the environmental qualities necessary for blog-writing thusly: "I must have vast wastelands of time." I couldn't agree more. I haven't updated this blog in more than a month in great part due to my lack of real free time. Sure I have plenty of time when I'm not obligated to work on anything in particular, but I often end up feeling guilty for not working on something more pressing, so I completely waste my time with something mindless like watching TV or something. These are the times I miss having a normal nine to five where I have a concrete time I'm off and can do whatever the heck I want after getting off. Ah, sometimes I miss mindless work.

So let me give a quick recap of the month.

On November 20, Mandi and celebrated dating for a year, woot! It's been a good year for both of us, and breaks records on both sides for duration of relationship. And will continue to do so (still unofficially). *wink*

November 24, I went with a group to go see one of my favorite musical groups, The Swell Season. The two singers in the band were the main characters in the film Once, one of my very favorite movies of all time. (I recommend it with reservation, as it has a LOT of foul language. They're Irish, it's going to happen.) The venue is general admission, so we got there an hour and a half before the doors opened so we could get a good spot in the standing-only ballroom. We waited for HOURS for the show to start, and my body was tired from standing still for so long, but we were right up in front! I got to see one of my songwriting heroes as close to the stage as is possible. Click here for some of my youtube clips of the show.

I went to Bend for Thanksgiving with the folks, brother Drew and his wife Ashleigh, and sister Daylan. Had a great and relaxing time away from everything.

December 5 Mandi threw me a surprise birthday party at one of my favorite places in Portland, Backstage Pub. It's a poolhall built into what used to be the backstage part of an old theater. Huge 80 foot ceilings, with a couple more private rooms. I wasn't suspicious of any surprise party at all, and Mandi suggested heading down to Backstage to kill a little time before we headed to birthday dinner. I was completely clueless. She mentions to me, "We should check out what's going on in the upstairs rooms," and I see the "reserved" sign and tell her we shouldn't go up, so as not to bother the people up there. She insisted we check it out anyway, so against my better judgement I went up there with her only to discover it was reserved for me with 15 or so good friends there. It was pretty fantastic.

December 13 Mandi and I were driving somewhere when I felt something funny in my back, usually a precursor to the back going completely out. So I was careful not to do anything to aggravate it any further, doing what I usually do to avoid a really bad episode. Even though I think I made all the right decisions, treating everything with care, it seized up, and I was stuck walking bent 30 degrees to the left. I made an appointment to see my old osteopath even though I don't have any insurance. I figured with an adjustment or two I could at least get back on my feet. Well, a friend of mine suggested a different, more affordable option, one that may give me a discount as I'm in ministry. So I went the next day only to find out I don't qualify for their discount, despite being a poor uninsured person in ministry. So, in great frustration (no fault at all of the friend who recommended that particular clinic, by the way) I decided if I was going to pay full-price for an adjustment, I may as well go to my regular doctor. I called his office to find out the next available appointment was for December 27, which wasn't going to fly. So Mandi and I started calling several other chiropractic connections to no avail, and I was getting SO flustered because I didn't know when I would be able to walk normally again. We left messages at several offices as it was approaching closing time for most clinics. I laid down at Mandi's house in a state of helplessness when I hear Mandi talking on the phone. We have a couple new friends, Tim and Lauren, awesome people, and Tim happens to be a chiropractor. Lauren called Mandi and said Tim could hurry over to the office that same night, or open up the office especially for me in the morning and get things set straight. Wow! So we met them the next morning and Tim did some tests and cracked me back into place. Then he came over to my house that same night and did it again. Who makes house calls!? I've gone in to his clinic four times in the last week, and am walking upright and even sitting with little or no pain. I don't have insurance, but he's made it incredibly affordable for me to visit this many times. Starting this Wednesday we're going to start figuring out exactly what's causing the recurring problem and see if we can't eliminate it with some intentional treatment. Please pray we're able to figure out why this keeps happening. And pray a big old blessing over Tim and Lauren while you're at it.

We had our church's Advent service last night, the 20th, and it was by far the very best Christmas service I've ever attended. I got to help plan it, but it certainly wasn't what made it good. There was just so much genuineness! I love my church full of real people! Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Plus I finally got to play Sufjan Steven's "Holy, Holy, Holy" with Beth Johnson, my worship music right-hand woman and fellow future-missionary. We were supposed to play it last year, but a snowstorm forced the cancellation of the service. Anyway, the evening was a beautiful redirection of the season.

Well folks, that's the news from Lake Woebegon where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

13096

It Comes in Waves

Seems like busyness comes in waves. This last week I completed a wedding video, put together all the necessaries for Thursday practice and worship on Sunday, drove 300 miles (60 miles in the snow, and required to chain up... 75 minutes in each direction going 30mph) to pick up some gear for a banquet I was helping with, ran A/V for the banquet, and tomorrow I get to return the gear. Good grief. However, today is a great day because I really have almost nothing to do for the first time in a while. Which is one reason I'm updating this here weblog. A few quick points to make. Leading worship at The Well (it's the name of my church, for those of you not in the know) has been incredible in its intensity and the fact that every week is incredibly humbling. I am painfully and constantly aware of my own inadequacy in a way I had not previously experienced until the last couple months. Something almost always goes awry before we lead on Sundays, but it is SO GOOD when we actually lead. It's frustrating to the part of me who just wants things to go smoothly, just to run a practice according to some plan I have. But the fact that HE is faithful in the face of our annoyances means in my mind he gets all the credit to which He is entitled. Namely, all the credit. After Jacob, soon to be Israel, wrestled with God, God touched his hip socket and he walked with a limp as a reminder of his ordeal. I think the fact that practices so rarely go as planned may be one of many limps I have in my own life. Not that I shouldn't strive for excellence in all things, but need to constantly be reminded to hold everything with an open palm. He always has a better plan, which most of the time seems to be different than my plan. Time to learn to be a better pray-er, methinks. The banquet I worked with was for Lahash International, the guys who are letting me stay in their house in exchange for working with them. Over the last four months or so, the Lahash staff and volunteers have been spending huge amounts of time organizing and getting everything into place for their first banquet. There were around 250 people gathered together last Saturday to hear how God has been using Lahash over the last six or seven years. I'm not a big fan of events, but this one went beautifully, and I was inspired again for the work God has for me. I know I won't be able to leave permanently overseas for a couple years, maybe a bit less, but I was excited again to serve in the way He has prepared for me. The evening featured four videos, and with each one I was more and more ready to grab my camera gear and head into the world. Certainly there are some things I need to wrap up, some relationships to build, skills to develop, but I'm excited to get started, if only from here in Portland.

12777

Downing-Nasmythe Reception Highlights

I shot a wedding a week and a half ago and am in the process of editing it. Here is a sample. Enjoy.

Downing-Nasmythe Reception Highlights from Dayn Arnold on Vimeo.

This is a shortened version of Tim and Tara's wedding reception. Just about to begin work on the dancing and some additional highlights from the reception.

Hikes and Such

I was on a hike with Mandi and my sister Daylan, and Daylan and I were reminiscing about Kenya. Daylan taught at an international school in Nairobi, and her first Christmas there I went over for a few weeks. It was my first trip overseas, and pivotal in the development of desires to serve overseas. Anyway, we were talking about some of our funny memories, especially the awesome safari which turned into a huge mud pit everywhere we turned. I was reminded again how much I crave doing something for Him and having adventures on top of it all. I don't want to be impatient about the whole process, but I think there may be something like righteous impatience, something that makes us look to the future instead of growing lethargic in our current situation. We do need to be satisfied in every place He has us, but He has SO MUCH for us if we give Him the controls. I want that badly.

This last Sunday I was reminded yet again that I'm not in control. Our morning worship rehearsal was really rough, mostly due to sound system issues. It ended up being a huge waste of time messing with it, and it was a bit of a frustrating mess. For those of you who don't perform music, if your sound on stage sounds crappy, it can easily remove any confidence you have in what the audience is hearing. I've been in a similar position many times, but it's never very enjoyable. Before the service began, a few of us got together and prayed over the equipment, over the instruments, over the team, over those worshipping. By the end, there was nothing but peace and joy in my heart, and it turned out to be an extraordinary time of worship. I think God likes to let things fall to pieces to show us who's really in charge. Someday maybe I'll let Him be in charge from the beginning. I can only hope to grow to that point in my life...

12596

I'm Going to Shoot You

Shot video at a wedding last week because of a recommendation from my friend Fritz who was doing the photography. He sometimes sets up a sort of photo booth, where people at the wedding can have their picture taken doing whatever they feel like. I got a free one. Surly? Yes. Serious? Maybe a little.

A conundrum of sorts

Nearly two and a half years ago I completed my first (and only) feature-length documentary, "Bible Camp." It was almost entirely a solo project, and took up the better part of two years (and almost all my savings) of my life from conception to realization. The video was received well by the few who viewed it, but created a rift in my own heart: one part of myself wanted credit and to at least break even financially, and the other part just wanted the camp's story to be told and help bring new light to a great ministry. The latter has happened to a very small degree, and the former never happened. It's been something I've needed to move past for the last few years, but have never quite made it. I never recovered financially from the project, and every blue moon I let that get the best of me, much to my chagrin. It's not that I want it looming over me, but it comes up so infrequently that I rarely have to deal with it at all.

On top of those issues, the camp has changed in the years since I filmed it, though (debatably) perhaps not for the better. The current leadership has changed things so much that my family has almost entirely pulled out of the camp. It's a bit of a sore spot for many of us who have been involved for decades. Even a source of hurt and anger for some who have a vested interest in seeing the kids of the Koyukon learn of the grace and love of our Savior, even amid the despair and death of the village.

This morning I got an email from the current leadership saying they plan to make a documentary about village ministry, and would like access to the camp historical footage I shot. I have no idea what to do. I don't agree with where the camp is heading right now, but don't want to let my hang-ups get in the way of things. I'm so very confused as to what I should do.

12497

Like Being Punched in the Gut With Joy

Every so often I'll be sitting in a coffee shop, or driving in my car, or sitting outside and just get an overwhelming sense of just how blessed I am. It's so easy for me to become dissatisfied with anything and everything, so easy to put on my woe-is-me complex and glower in a pool of my own wretchedness. Sometimes I catch myself quickly with an oft-heard quip laced with sarcasm, American life is hard! Other times I don't catch it for an hour, or a day, or a week, growing increasingly sorry for myself. Were I to create a chart with self-pity over time on the x-axis, and stupidity on the y-axis, it would certainly grow exponentially upward for all eternity were it not for the additional variable of Jesus. I know with absolute certainty that without Him, I would be a perfect example of depravity, and my graph would permanently spike upwards. At times I am a vessel of self-pity, a tankard of inexplicable sorrow and loss until I am hit with that seemingly-random experience of true blessing. It's like being punched in the gut with joy. My life is amazing, and I always need to remember that. I get to play music for a living and increasingly abandon myself in worship of Him. I get to pursue my love of media and technology in relation to story-telling. I live in a city full of opportunity, full of the things I love (aside from sunshine in winter). I have family nearby, the cutest nephew in the world, parents who encourage and love me, and siblings I love dearly. And I have an amazing woman by my side who encourages and challenges me. Life is good, guys. Don't let me tell you otherwise.

Last Saturday our church held its first "Global Summit," a day of listening to speakers talk about various aspects of missions. My friend Kevin Nichols spearheaded the event, and brought in some really great and knowledgeable speakers to cover a variety of topics. It was an encouraging day, full of information and passion. I had the opportunity to lead a couple worship sets as well, which was pretty great. I feel privileged to have a creative missionary journey in the future, something that is mission-oriented, but geared toward my set of giftings and passions. Gosh He's creative in the way He orchestrates everything.

This last Sunday was pretty amazing too. I got to co-lead worship with my friend Michal. She is an incredible jazz singer, and has a great heart for worship. The set and band were awesome, a truly blessed time. On top of a great worship time, we got the privilege of having mission organization OM founder George Verwer speak. He is a dynamic, charismatic presence, simultaneously encouraging and challenging without making people feel unnecessarily guilty (something all too common among missionary speakers.) He's also hilarious, which I greatly appreciate, as certain speakers have a hard time keeping my attention. Check back here in the next couple days for a link to the sermon on The Well's website. I'll put the link up, but as it hasn't yet been posted (that's my job) it won't be up for a day or two. It's definitely worth listening to.

I have just begun talks with my future area leader for mainland Southeast Asia about how I can get started with CommNet projects within the next 6 months to a year. The gears are turning even while I'm here in Portland. Please pray with me that opportunities will arise to get a practical start to my work with Pioneers. I'm pretty excited to begin thinking along these lines.

I think that's about it for this post. I really need to update this thing more often, as many of you know. That is all.

Cheers.

12219

South Sister Video Album

South Sister Video Album from Dayn Arnold on Vimeo.

Like a photo album but with video clips!

This footage is from our trip up Oregon's third highest peak, 10,358 ft. South Sister. You gain approximately 5,000 feet over 6 miles, though the middle couple miles are pretty flat, so it's more like gaining 5,000 feet over 4 miles. Steep and exhausting. I brought the camera as an experiment, to see how much more of a pain the extra 7 pounds would be. With the camera, a little extra gear, and 4 liters of water, it was a pretty heavy pack for a day hike. My legs burned for 5 days after the hike. Major video discovery: it's hard to think about getting footage of moving up the trail because of exhaustion and irritation. Something to work on, for sure, as this video has almost no footage of us actually moving.

Enjoy.

12016

Scattered smattering of stories

I'm not sure what it is, but I think I missed the memo that the rules for public display of affection have been seriously altered, if not eliminated. It has been my understanding (hope) that facial caresses and scalp massages may be better suited for any place other than the table directly in front of mine. It's just a bit awkward, that's all. And completely irrelevant to the rest of this blog.

I realize it's been far too long since I last made a posting. I was reading my friend Jessi's blog today, and I concur with her sentiment that writing so often comes out of a complete lack of anything else to do. I enjoy it immensely, but can feel guilty if I have a half-dozen other things I should be doing instead. Plus, I'm so stinking wordy when I write, these things can take an hour or two to complete. I may not often talk your ear off in person, but put me in front of a keyboard and I'll write your eyes off. Figuratively, of course.

Five days ago, Mandi and I got back from our week-long trip to Michigan. We went to support her brother Taylor as he got married. The wedding went smoothly, and though I was not needed to help set anything up, I managed to stay busy, finishing two projects, and trying to arrange worship schedules and sets for the week I would be back. I got to experience several more rounds of Stonehouse-family grillings, wherein I am often asked questions of huge generalities, such as "What is your family like?" or "What do you do?" I think two major things are accomplished through these Q&A sessions: Mandi's extended family gets Gladiator-esque opportunity to give me the executive thumbs up or down, and I get to practice my social skills. I've been told that I'm passing these tests with flying colors, which is certainly a bonus. It was great to spend more time with Mandi's immediate family, I enjoy them thoroughly. We took a couple trips to Lake Michigan, and while I was in awe of the giant land-locked sea, I missed the power and majesty of my beloved Oregon coast. I know the water's freezing, but going in the water is not why I love the coast.

We returned from Michigan, and went straight back to regular life, hitting the ground running. We got in Wednesday night around 11:00, and I had a church staff meeting the next morning at 6am. Then worked on church stuff, went on a short hike with photog friend Fritz, finished putting the worship set together, met with two other people, had worship practice and went to Kennedy School for food, pipes, and a little more work. Friday evening Mandi and I headed to the coast near Tillamook to meet up with my parents for a little coastal camping. Daylan joined us the next morning, and we all went on a five-mile hike to an incredible viewpoint jutting out into the ocean. If there's something I really love, it's old-growth forests, seeing trees that are hundreds of years old thriving in a harsh environment. My dad and I both love nurse logs, the fallen trees that become the foundation for other trees and various other plant life. Occasionally a seed will plant itself in the stump of a fallen tree, grow to full-size around the stump, and the stump will rot out from beneath the new tree leaving a full-grown tree with a root structure that begins three or four feet above the ground. It's a beautiful picture of death providing nourishment for new life, like a certain savior whose death gave us life. (I want to get a tattoo of a nurse log and a sapling on my arm or leg as a constant (and perhaps more missionally-friendly than a cross in a closed country) reminder of this ultimate gift. The hike was stunning with cliff-side vistas of the ocean and beautiful old trees filtering the sunlight, harboring the perfect temperature for our entire hike. At the end of the trail, we were delayed for quite a while because some idiot decided it would be a good idea to climb over the side of the cliff to get closer to the water for some fishing. He got stuck, so when we got there, they were about to rappel down the cliff's edge to rescue the guy. My dad and I sort of helped pull the rope to get the guy and his rescuer up to the top, but mostly we just coiled the rope as the guys in front of us did the real work. (A pulley system with 5 to 1 ratio made our jobs pretty much worthless.) It was a bit more adventure than we were expecting, but fun to be around these volunteer firefighters saving a helpless idiot. They were a pretty cool bunch. Actually, made me wish I had the funding to make a short documentary about their lives in a small coastal village and the shenanigans they get to solve.

Today is the first day in a while I haven't had much pressing work, and wanted to spend a while writing on my nearly abandoned blog. I need to write more often, if only to get a bit more focus and stop only writing about how my week was. I'm shooting for more focus next time. Until then...

11989

Don't worry, I'll write a real blog in the near future

We climbed 10,350ft South Sister 4 days ago. My legs are still paying for it.

Sisters Timelapse from Dayn Arnold on Vimeo.

Lugged my EX1 up to the top of Oregon's 10,350ft South Sister. The mountains in the shot are Middle and North Sister. One frame per second, 24fps. Didn't have a tripod, so had to find suitable rockface to set it on. Right on the edge of the cliff, as it ended up. A little nerve-wracking, but nothing happened.

God had some interesting things up His enormous sleeves.

So I have some rather exciting news to tell everyone. Those of you on Facebook knew there was something coming up. If you're on Facebook, and you're not part of my Facebook Prayer group, click here and join.

So there was a reason my support raising has been slow. God had some interesting things up His enormous sleeves.

So God has been working on my heart in the last couple months. As I knew I was going to move back to Portland, I was looking forward to going back to my home church, The Well. I just love that church, and had been missing participating on the worship team. Actually, I had been looking forward to beginning to lead worship on Sundays, a return to a time in my life when leading worship had been one of my favorite things to do. Upon my return to Portland, I got involved in the worship team immediately, already enjoying myself immensely. A couple weeks into being back, I had a conversation with Travis, The Well's worship pastor. He has been working toward planting a church for the last year and a half, through Northwest Church Planters. They really put him and his wife Erin through the ringer to determine if they really should plant a church. They have been recommended to plant a church, and will begin that process in September. So I was talking to Travis about his upcoming shift into church planting mode, and how he would be reducing himself to 1/4 time at The Well. He wanted to know if I would be interested in coming alongside him for this year, and then take over altogether the following year.

I have some baggage when it comes to working at a church. In fact, I wrote about it in the posting below. So while I thought it might be fun to try regular worship leading again, I definitely needed to think and pray about it.

Mandi and I have been trying to pursue what it is that God would have us do with regard to our relationship and moving overseas. We had been trying to figure out what would get us to the field the fastest, though perhaps these courses of action weren't the wisest. The new proposal of leading worship at The Well would mean a delay in getting out to the field (something neither of us really wanted) but would give us time to make wise decisions and wise courses of action for the next steps in our lives. Leading at The Well would also give us a chance to become an integral part of the church, further solidify ourselves in our community and give us even greater support when we did leave for Thailand.

So I told Travis I wasn't willing to commit to anything at that time, but that I would certainly think and pray about it. After a week or two of thought and prayer, I was coming around to the idea. I arranged to meet Travis for lunch to further discuss all of this. When Mandi heard I was meeting Travis for lunch, she put two and two together (with astonishing speed, actually), and asked if they were going to offer me the worship leader position. I told her about the things Travis and I had discussed, and she got this huge grin on her face. While it would mean a delay in our getting to the field, it would provide certain elements to our future together that could be really fruitful. Mandi's excitement only further solidified what it was that God was doing in my heart. I met with Travis and told him I was very interested in the idea, and that Mandi had figured it out and was excited as well.

So Travis brought our discussions before the church elders, and in a short time I had arranged to meet with elder and missions pastor CJ. We talked for an hour about the ins and outs of my heart for worship ministry, and how this development could affect my future work with Pioneers. One thing I appreciated the most about our discussion was CJ's comment that he wanted to make sure that he was not responsible for keeping us from the mission field by pressuring me into this new role. After explaining the situation, that it would provide opportunity for growth and wisdom, he was fine with my take on things. We definitely talked about the way that it seemed God was orchestrating everything in His perfection, that His influence in the timing of my return to Portland and their desperation for a leader was not coincidental. CJ told me I would hear a more definitive word from the elders with the next couple weeks.

A week and a half later, I met with two more elders, Jeremiah and Eric, and they officially offered me the position. We had a great conversation, and I got even more excited that I would get to work with these guys on a regular basis. So, the official word is this: I will take over much of the worship responsibilities over the next year as Travis transitions out, and then take over entirely the following year. The game begins in September.

One more positive note, the compensation I will be receiving from my work at the church will more than make up for my meager financial needs each month, something I had been stressing about. I moved to Portland on faith, something I don't often do. I didn't have solid work lined up, something that makes me worry. But He had an awesome plan in the works, and I'm so glad He gave me the strength and patience to wait for His plan to play out. This is one of the few times in my life where I have nothing I can take credit for. So often, God will do something amazing, and I end up taking at least a little bit of credit for it. But this situation, I can't even entertain the idea that I had anything to do with it. He's just so good!

14025

How I Lost the Church

Back in 2000, I became a staff member at a church for the first time. I was to be in charge of a group of high-schoolers, the worship team for our church's youth group. I had been asked to help out in that area by one of the youth leaders I knew from my own high-school youth group experience. Things were a little rough at the beginning, but in a short time we were becoming a close-knit group, and a pretty good band of worshippers. At that time, I was meeting regularly with the youth leader, and with the church's worship pastor, both men I respected and enjoyed. The first year working in that environment was positive and encouraging, and the reaction from the general youth group populace was increasingly favorable. Some of these kids were having their first true worship experience on Wednesdays at youth group. God was doing some pretty great things in and through our group.

The next year was beginning, and the situation changed a bit. The church decided to hire an additional worship pastor, and required me to meet with him weekly as some sort of required discipleship. My impression of this guy was that he was the most fake person I had ever worked with, just one of those churchy über-positive guys that just don't exist outside of a church environment. In my 20-year-old wisdom, I decided I didn't like this guy at all. I had no respect for him, and therefore would, in some sort of a passive-aggressive temper-tantrum, make our meetings as difficult as possible. (Thanks God for wisdom and age, no?) I was unresponsive and generally dour as we met weekly and interacted as a part of our work week. There was not a single part of me that liked this guy, and not a single part of me willing to be even remotely civil to him. Today I'm willing to fess up to the fact that I was a royal pain in the backside to this guy. My problem was that I just could not believe he was being real with me. Everything in my brain told me he was just another church guy, just another one of those phony Christians. There was also some serious depression lurking around the corner of my life, which was just beginning to consume me for the next few years.

Early in 2002, after having been around this guy for eight or nine months, I was called into a surprise meeting with him. He basically laid it out that I had been inordinately difficult, and that even trying to work with me was a ludicrous affair. Then he dropped a bomb on me. His words were: "You bring death into the room." That phrase was permanently seared into my brain, words I will never forget. Hyperbole? I certainly hope so. True? At least partially.

I think the problem I now have with that meeting was that there was little or no attempt to understand my side of the issue. I was certainly being a baby about certain issues, but there were some underlying issues, even some early signs of depression, that were never addressed. One step back from the situation would have provided a few clues that I wasn't doing so well in life, and that perhaps an attempt at understanding rather than condemning would have been prudent.

After that fateful meeting, things really didn't improve, aside from trying desperately to pretend everything was okay, that everything was on the mend. Of course the issues were still there because nothing was dealt with. Condemnation was doled out, but there was no attempt at understanding, and certainly no compassion. So I continued working with the youth group worship team for the next few months. Playing and practicing with them was still the highlight of my week, despite the interpersonal difficulties lining the periphery of working at the church. In the spring I was asked to come to a meeting with all the head-honchos at the church. To their credit, they really are a bunch of Christ-loving guys, and I still highly respect them in many ways. They brought me into their meeting room to tell me that the money they had been paying me was needed elsewhere, and that they would be terminating my pay. Any idiot can see that they were trying to passively scoot me aside. Unfortunately I was not just any idiot. Honestly I didn't get what they were trying to do, and volunteered to continue working with the kids for free. Working with the kids was the most enjoyable thing I could possibly think of, and I enjoyed it immensely week to week. The kids in the youth group loved it, the kids in the worship team loved it, and I loved it even more than they did.

So I didn't get the hint, and kept working at the church for free. Another couple months went by, and there was another meeting with the same group of pastors from the church. I can still see the room, sterile white, blinds letting filtered light fall on the large conference table in the center of the room. They brought me into the room, and told me what they probably should have told me the first time: they needed someone else. The way they worded it, there was the impression that they really just wanted anyone else. I was informed that I would still be welcome to participate on the Sunday worship team, but that my relationship with the youth group worship team was over. There was no explanation as to why it was over, just that it was over. They let me know who would be taking my place: a guy with a great heart but who was totally unqualified for the job, which was a bit of a slap in the face. So I had to break the news to my worship team kids, and never showed up at youth group again. As I had not been given adequate explanation as to the full reason for my termination, I couldn't even fully explain to my kids why things ended like they did. At that point I disappeared from that church, and buried myself in layer upon layer of depression, eventually culminating in the darkest years of my life.

I don't write about this to just be dark and hopeless. This was a painful and pivotal moment that brought both understanding and wariness of The Church in subsequent years. But God, in His Grace, has brought me full circle, and has restored me to a state I had never before known. His body, The Church, can be a beautiful thing. Like the blind man who got Jesus' spit-balls in his eyes, my vision has been restored, and my hope renewed. He is good, even when it takes a downward spiral into the pit to understand it.

14020

Graceful Loser

I've now been living in my room for close to two weeks, for those of you waiting for an update and not getting one. It is a burnt orange color with gray and white. I should have included a picture for those of you not connected to me on Facebook, but I'm currently hiding from my great new room as the weather pushes 105 degrees, and my room gets even hotter than that with the sun streaming through the windows. So right now I'm sitting at my sister and brother-in-law's house, directly in front of their air conditioner, enjoying the sensation of cool comfort.

I've been working on a wedding video for friends Sam and Amanda who got married in Michigan, June 13. I think I'm more pleased with their video than I have been with any of my other wedding videos. I'll include a couple clips down below for your viewing enjoyment/critique. I'm finally able to slow down a bit and work on getting my website running with portfolio material. I need work badly, and have very little to work with these days. Some days are brimming with optimism, and other days are laced with pessimism, a sinking feeling that things just won't work. Overall, however, I really need to continue to understand that He's got it all in His control, and that my job is simply to be diligent with what he's given me. I also think I'm learning how to be a graceful loser. There have been times in my life when my handful of talents have afforded me a much greater level of success than I probably should have gotten. For instance, in highschool I could get away with practicing music very little, and still get top placements in bands and orchestras. It was an unrealistic way to learn about success and failure, and I think the last decade has been about learning how to be a graceful loser, as I've done quite a bit of losing. Let's hope I don't lose the lessons learned, no?

So yeah, please pray for jobs, people needing videography in the NorthWest. The leads I've had have fallen through, which is a bit discouraging, but there are other brides and grooms in the sea, so to speak. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. Enjoy the video clips.

Cheers.

Sam and Amanda Just Married from Dayn Arnold on Vimeo.

This is a clip from Sam and Amanda's wedding in June of 2009. It's been a pleasure to work on this for them. Blessings all around.

Get Up Offa That Thing from Dayn Arnold on Vimeo.

It may have taken a short time for everybody to warm up to the dancing after the reception, but once they warmed up, it was a real party. Kudos to all the friends and fam of Sam and Amanda for cutting rugs with such fervor.

Sam is a Golf Pro from Dayn Arnold on Vimeo.

Day before the wedding, the boys went out for a round of golf. Sam is the man.

13872

Two weeks away from the blog

A hearty hello to everyone!

Missed another week. But with good reason.

A week and a bit ago I moved all my stuff to Portland, into my new digs. I spent the last week getting supplies (we seemed incredibly, and often frustratingly, unsuccessful getting what I wanted for a good price within certain time constraints), painting the walls, scraping, sanding, scraping, sanding, scraping, and sanding the abused wood floor in my room. The floor had something like 4 layers of paint (who in the heck paints over a beautiful wood floor!?!!!) which made for some real difficulties sanding/scraping. But, I'm proud to say that today I put the last coat of sealer on the floor, and in only one week I can move in! (Slight sarcasm, as I am pretty antsy to get moved in and start living somewhat normally. But beggars can't be choosers and I'm certainly grateful for the way God worked out this living situation. It's funny how we all can look God's gift horses in the mouth, so to speak.

So right now I'm sitting at Albina Press in N Portland, which may become my regular coffee shop as it's only 0.4 miles from my house, and has wonderful coffee. I'm glad to be able to take a step back and figure out where God has me right now. I know I haven't taken any steps backward in my life's journey, but often it seems like I'm taking a lot of steps to the side. I'm sure it's all for preparation for something else, and I'm looking forward to what that might be.

Please pray for patience as I wait another week to move in. Extra special thanks to Fritz and Shannon for putting up with me for a week, and now another week.

The Rose-colored Glass is Half Full

Moving is always a bit of an emotional time for me. Often it's hard to know what to feel about leaving a place, no matter what the overall experience was like. It's as if a pair of rose-colored glasses were forced on my face, and I had no choice but to look at that location in purely positive terms. This is especially bizarre in light of my penchant for pessimism. An inexplicable rise of some sort of "good old days" syndrome.

Part of the emotional experience of moving comes from going through all my stuff as I decide what to keep, and what to throw out. I wouldn't call myself a packrat, but I think most people would be surprised how sentimental I can get over certain things. A few days ago I started looking through some plastic containers, trying my best to be ruthless as I tried to balance that scale of sentimentality and practicality. I discovered I had a drawer full of photos I have taken over the last 12 years or so. There were pictures in there from a mission trip I took in the summer of 1997. There were pictures of my highschool classmates (my highschool reunion is this weekend, and I can't think of a single reason to pay money to relive that era. It wasn't a bad time, but as I only really knew a handful of people, I could find any reason to go) and pictures of the worship team I led at Grace Community from 2000 to 2002. There were pictures of our family dog Wrecks, and pictures of the kids I worked with in the '02-'03 school year at Rabbit Creek. There were pictures of people I haven't seen in years, some I hadn't thought about since the pictures were taken, and some very dear to my heart. So I went through hundreds and hundreds of pictures, weeding out the significant ones, tossing the crappy ones. I won't miss the pictures I threw away, but I was certainly given the opportunity to relive the last dozen years of my life. Bizarre.

I have a handful of little trinkets that sit on my desk wherever I go, which I rarely notice unless I'm moving. There are my small Buzz Lightyear and Woody bendy figurines that I got in a Christmas stocking the year Toy Story came out. Toy Story is still one of my favorite movies. I have a Lego AT-ST Walker and little Lego Chewbacca my good friend Gary gave all his groomsmen when he got married. I also have a Star Wars Airspeeder from Episode II (don't worry, I didn't actually remember what these vehicles were called. I looked them up. Actually, maybe researching their names is indeed grounds for concern. I'm a nerd. It's what I do, okay?) that was given to me by Rachel Heath, I believe. Actually, when I was a kid Legos were too expensive, so the most of the Legos I got were the little sets you'd get at McDonalds, all primary and secondary colors, and you could build anything rectangular. Even today Legos seem like a luxury, especially Star Wars Legos, so the combination of two of my childhood loves is the perfect trinkety kind of thing to keep around. It's funny that I don't really think about the significance these little things have until I put them away. Life's like that sometimes, I guess.

So my time here in Bend has been great times and really difficult at other times. I got to better know a handful of people at my dad's church, and be near my dear friends the Sheldons. I got to enjoy a lot of sunshine (I think I'm addicted to Vitamin D), and the beauty that Central Oregon has to offer. However, being away from Mandi, and my Portland family and friends most of the time has been hard. Really hard. It was a bit of tease that right about the time I really felt like I had true community somewhere, I felt I needed to move back in with Mommy and Daddy. I missed my church, missed playing on the worship team there, missed the diversity of Portland, as compared to Bend. I had a hard time appreciating my job in Bend, especially since the whole goal of moving back home was to save some money so I could get out onto the mission field sooner. However, despite the consistent frustrations living in Bend, I'm glad I did. Were there any "good old days?" Probably not. But God had things he needed to teach me, and people to learn to love. So, I think the rose colored glasses have been removed, but a bit of a rosy hue remains. It's been a difficult year, but all the goodness contained therein was worth the difficulty. It's kinda like God actually knows what He's doing. :-)

I'm excited to be going, despite my moments of melancholy over the last week or so. Seriously, just look at the way God has provided for my housing! How can this move not have God's name written all over it?! So while I'm leaving the peace of living with my folks, there are new and exciting things just over the Cascades. I'm excited to share it with you guys.

Cheers.

13489

Back to Portland

So here's the news some of you have been sort of waiting for! I'm moving back to Portland in a week! Ta da! My friends Dan and Erin head up an organization called Lahash, whose objective is "to partner with East Africans in advocacy and care for the vulnerable, in response to Christ's love. Recently one of their local church partners, Berean Bible Church, gave them the use of a large house on BBC's property. So the Lahash folks have been working on restoring the dilapidated house to use as office space, as well as housing for travelers coming through Portland working with Lahash. (Dan or Erin, please feel free to correct me if I'm inaccurate in any way.) Lahash and BBC both have need for some media support, so Dan proposed a trade: I get housing in exchange for 8 hours a week of media work. HUGE BLESSING! I've been stressing a bit about coming back to Portland to pursue videography because there is no guarantee of work, and living accommodations can be expensive. This arrangement with Lahash is pretty much an incredible miracle God has done in my life. Special thanks are due to Mandi who is my connection with Lahash, and extra special thanks to Dan and Erin for thinking of me. Wow. He's just so stinkin' good sometimes!

My apologies for missing a blog update this last week. I was in Michigan for a week, and then my brother Drew got married, so it's been a busy couple of weeks. My friends Sam and Amanda got married in Jackson, Michigan, and they paid my way there to capture the whole event on video. It was awesome to get to play a part in their wedding, and even better that they were so generous to get me out there. The wedding was beautiful, probably one of the most sincere ceremonies I've ever experienced. I got a little misty twice that day, which is pretty serious for me. Though the ceremony itself was incredibly thoughtful, the days leading up to the wedding were some of the most fun days I've had in a while. Hanging out with Mandi, Jeff Budke, and my new friends Matt and Raeanne, made me laugh until my face hurt. Oh my gosh it was fun. From Sam and Amanda's wedding, Mandi and I drove over to West Michigan to surprise her parents for their 30th anniversary. Mandi's brother Justin helped us into a giant wrapped box, and when her parents arrived, they opened the huge present. It was pretty great to watch Mrs. Stonehouse literally jump into the air as she screamed with surprise. All the Stonehouse kids pitched in and rented a house on a lake for a few days, and a good time was had by all.

We came back from Michigan, and went straight into wedding stuff for Drew and Ashleigh. It's a bit strange watching your little brother get married, especially when he's nearly 7 years your junior. It was the first time I've ever sat in the front row at a wedding, which is pretty sweet. The wedding went well, and when they did a money dance to raise some cash for the newlyweds, I gave Drew $10 so I could dance with him. I think it was funnier to me than it was to him. But hey, I paid him, so he had to like it. I hung around Portland for another couple days, moved a little stuff into my new digs, and now I'm back in Bend for the week to get my things ready to move. It's going to be a really busy week, I think. Please pray for my sanity as I try to get all my ducks in a row, and pray that the move will go smoothly. Also pray that I won't lose sight of where it is God is taking me, as the present has a tendency to drown out the future. Thanks to you all.

13333

Hey everybody.

As you can see, I got the new video camera, and am enjoying the results. Keep praying I can get a lot of work so I can get it paid off. Please. Pretty please with a cherry (not maraschino) on top. Thanks.

So on Wednesday I'm heading out of town to shoot a friend's wedding. In order to do that, I had to get video done for the wedding I shot on May 30. After several entire days and a few half days, I got it finished. I don't mind how much work it is, but there are moments where I definitely need a break. Today was a nice break. I'm excited to get into the swing of doing video all the time, to establish good work patterns and such. It's going to be pretty great to spend my working hours doing what I often end up doing in my spare time (which is why I haven't read an entire book in ages, much to my chagrin.) Please pray for safety on my trip, and that I can enjoy the sometimes stressful work of wedding videography.

My little brother Drew and his wonderful fiancee Ashleigh get married in a week and a half. Please pray all goes well for that. I'll be doing some passive videography for that one (passive, as in I'm setting up a couple cameras on tripods so I can sit like a normal wedding-goer and enjoy the event.) I wanted to be able to experience the wedding, rather than just watch it through my viewfinder. I'll shoot anyone's wedding, except immediate family. I want to be there.

Anyway, those are the bland details of my life for the past week or so. Thanks so much for the support, and I look forward to continue sharing my life and footage with y'all. Here's a clip from this last wedding. Enjoy.

Fischer Wedding Reception from Dayn Arnold on Vimeo.

This is the first part of Chris and Carrie's reception highlights. It was an enjoyable group of people, for sure.

13060

Last Thursday

Here's the whole thing from Last Thursday. Enjoy.

Last Thursday from Dayn Arnold on Vimeo.

Ah Portland. Alberta Street on the last Thursday of the month is a feast for all the senses. Music, art, food, and characters all around.

12940

Fire Dancing

Went to Last Thursday last Thursday on Alberta Street. Incredibly Portlandy. More clips to come later. Enjoy.

Fire Dancers from Dayn Arnold on Vimeo.

It's been an interesting week. I have tallied the week's score for your information. It reads as follows:

Early last week my new video camera arrived. Awesome. (Score: Good things - 1, Bad things - 0) It uses special memory cards, so I had to install special drivers on my computer to read the cards. My computer slowed down, and eventually stopped booting altogether. (Good things - 1, Bad things - 1) So while I had everything backed up on another drive (an obsession I picked up a couple years back after nearly losing 3 months of work from one project) I couldn't use the computer. I had a wedding coming up that weekend and really needed to use it to offload footage as I took it with the camera. Computer problems began Tuesday night. Wednesday I took my new camera out for a spin, and it performed beautifully as I took in some nature shots from a ways out of town. (Good things - 2, Bad things - 1) Did a little time-lapse, some slow-motion. So great. Because I was already headed to Portland the next day, I arranged to meet the Apple people in Portland (I refuse to call them the Genius Bar, though that's their official title, because it's beyond pretentious.) Went to the Apple store, was given a quick fix, and I was back out the door, waiting to try the fix later. Well, the fix didn't work, (Good things - 2, Bad things - 2) so I had to make another appointment on Friday, the day before I needed it for shooting a wedding. Went in the next day, and they had to take my computer in for two days to fix it. (Good things - 2, Bad things - 3) That evening I went to play guitar at a party, for which I was being paid more than fairly for 2 hours of playing. By the end of the night, I had played 3.5 hours and was paid more than twice the original agreed amount. Also gave out some business cards to the woman who hired me because she wanted to recommend that service to her friends who also throw small events. (I didn't tell her I had never done this sort of thing before and that I was just making it up as I went along. Good things - 3, Bad things - 3) Next day didn't have the computer, which is a bummer because I needed to upload my footage onto a computer throughout the night. So I used the computer of my friend whom I hired to shoot with me. We got to the wedding and had just finished shooting the most important part, the ceremony, and discovered that one of the most important files from my friend's camera didn't transfer properly, and we ended up losing the shot. (A predicament which we know how to avoid in the future. Good things - 3, Bad things - 4) We were able to get some additional footage from the church's video camera, thanks to my obligatorily new best friend Jake. The rest of the evening went pretty well, and was an enjoyable event (Good things - 4, Bad things - 4), though with the two of us, I heard at least one comment about feeling like there were paparazzi skulking about. Also my friend Fritz, the photographer who got me both of the weekend's gigs (thanks Fritz!) let me use his fisheye lens, which gives a really unique effect when held in front of my camera.

The day after the wedding was a nice relaxed day, biked a bit in the heat, hung out with friends and fam, and it was really great. (Good things - 5, Bad things - 4) Also got to meet with CJ from my church, which was great. The next day I went and saw "UP" the new Pixar movie, in 3D, which was pretty stinking cool. ((Good things - 6, Bad things - 4) Then I had to head back to Bend, and on the way my car overheated. Actually, I forgot to mention it did the same thing on the way TO Portland, so I'm afraid the score is off by two. (Good things - 6, Bad things - 6) It was frustrating, but I made it home in one piece. I spent the evening reloading all my files onto my computer, and reinstalling the entire Adobe Creative Suite, which alone takes a couple hours. The next morning I had the computer working just fine, and decided to reinstall that camera card driver, which promptly sent my computer into a stalling and crashing trajectory. (Good things - 6, Bad things - 7) I managed to uninstall that driver and after a bit of research, found an updated driver that wouldn't do that to my poor computer. (Good things - 7, Bad things - 7) So now I could actually use my camera with my computer, and was all ready to take my loads of files from the wedding and get editing. Well, I discovered that the import process we used on my friend's computer put the files into a format unreadable by my computer. (Good things - 7, Bad things - 8) So 1.5 hours of research and $80 later I could actually read the files I needed to use and made some real headway with the footage. (Good things - 8, Bad things - 8) And from that point on, the editing has gone on relatively smoothly.

Today I worked a bit more on the wedding footage, and worked a bit for my boss here in Bend. He told me to bring my older video camera along to see if a friend of his would want to buy it from me, which would be a huge blessing, and money I can put toward the new camera. So tomorrow I'll be picking up a check for my old camera, thank you Jesus! (Good things - 9, Bad things - 8) So the last week has been just a shade above neutral. Actually, one more thing I forgot (forget editing what I write, I don't feel like updating every score just for a bit of continuity). I think I have a place to stay in Portland, possibly for free. More on that later. So it looks like the score is officially Good things - 10, Bad things - 8. So all turned out well, but what a crazy week. I think I need a nap.

12851

Craziness...

Does anyone else think "craziness" look strange because of the "i" where the "y" should be? Also, does anyone else want me to continue using "quotation marks" willy-nilly "throughout" the "rest of" this blog"?" If so, "you" need to read "this other blog."

This last weekend I went to Portland, had a great time with nice sunny and warm weather, including a picnic with all of my siblings and their spouse or soon-to-be-spouse. (Drew's getting married in less than a month to a lovely girl named Ashleigh.) I got to hang out with quite a few of my really good friends, and received serious affirmation that I should be moving back to Portland as soon as I can. Which brings me to my next point.

On Sunday in Portland I got a chance to meet with my friend Laki, a fellow videographer to whom I'm connected through Mandi. Laki and his brother are getting serious about their videography, investing in all sorts of amazing equipment, and getting ready to make their mark on the Portland filmmaking scene. The thing with people in filmmaking is that so many of them have enormous egos, an intensely pretentious lot. Those kind of people can be hard to work with, the kind of people I don't really want to work with. Laki feels the same way, and so it's looking like I'm going to join forces with him and his brother, at least some of the time. I just ordered that nice new camera I have been praying about (thanks in part to a generous loan from Pioneers) and will also be offering my services as a solo videographer. Here's where you come in.

I need work anywhere in the Northwest (unless willing to pay airfare, in which case the sky's the limit.) If you know anyone getting married within the next few months, and I can be there, please recommend my services to them. I'm not often a shameless (or shameful, for that matter) self-promoter, but I really need to secure as much work as I can handle over the next few months. Don't worry, my blog won't become a festering wound of self-advertising, but right now I kind of have to be. My email and phone number are fair-game to anyone, and I'm working on getting a simple website up, I'll let you know when that's online. Thanks for your help with this. I'm taking a bit of a step in faith with all this, but I'm excited at the potential.

So yeah, right now pray for work to come in, and pray I'll keep my eyes on Christ and the great things He has in store for me. Thanks everybody.

Cheers.

12684

Work is Good, Prayer is Better

Hey everybody!

So I haven't written in a week and a half or so, and for that I make a very weak apology. Very weak.

I've been very busy the last couple weeks with PAYING work, something that doesn't happen all that often. I'm learning about specific prayer, and praying for work has proven God faithful. Which brings me to my next couple of points. I've been thinking and praying more about moving back to Portland, and ask you all to pray with me. My desire is to get hooked up with videographers and photographers in Portland, see if I can work on multiple wedding videos this summer. Please help me pray about making the right connections. I have two weddings lined up already, and if you know anyone near Portland or Bend who's getting married this summer and needs a videographer, please let me know. I'm also praying about procuring some new videography equipment, the most significant of which is a new video camera which will be perfect for my future work with Pioneers. (In case you're curious to know which camera I'm hoping for, it's Sony's PMW-EX1) It's a spendy piece of gear, but will give me a great tool for telling stories in a transparent way. Recently I invested in a software package that is freeing me up to be creative in media, another huge blessing. Check out my little experiment using the new software. http://www.vimeo.com/4578426

This past week I was offered a chance to speak to a group of people from my dad's church. I didn't intend to talk for an hour straight, but there were many questions and I was feeling talkative. It was a really great time, perhaps a foreshadowing of what Mandi and I hope to do later this summer, a kind of house-party tour. I put together a bit of my footage from Thailand to show as well. I know the people there now have a really good idea of how they can pray for me, and it was a time of refreshing as my thoughts came out my mouth and helped me to more fully understand what it is that God is calling me to do. It was great. Special thanks to Bob and Colleen for being such gracious and generous supporters, even inviting me to their house to talk to a Bible study group.

Thanks to all of you who continue to join me in prayer. It's a huge blessing and a great source of humility. Goodness knows I need a generous helping of humility now and again.

11802

I love working with kids

So on Monday I got to work in a class of special kids. One little gem of a girl (4 years old, I think) is on the Autism Spectrum, not engaging socially with others in the same way as a lot of other kids. Somehow we made a little connection, as we were about to leave the gym after the class had finished running around like mad. She filed into line just like everyone else, an accomplishment on its own, looked back at me with a half-turn and gave me a cool thumb-up. So cute, especially because her Autism can make that sort of social engaging difficult or impossible.

Then she topped herself by turning again and giving me a huge face-scrunching wink. Awesome.

10264

Dut, Dut, Doose

Got to work as an assistant in a preschool speech-therapy class today. Guess what game we played...

7500

Mandi Eats a Grasshopper

There are markets everywhere in Chiang Mai. Cheap produce, cookware, clothing, you name it, you can get it within a 10 or 15 minute walk.

This video was at the Sunday Walking Street Market, a large-scale weekly market that blocks off drivers from several streets, making for (what felt like) miles upon miles of Thai goodies. I'm not a huge market person, as I'm very much a goal-oriented shopper. I have to know what I want, get in and get out. Markets don't cater well to someone such as myself. But I can enjoy them for a short time. Or tolerate them for a slightly longer time.

And don't worry, I ate a grasshopper right after Mandi, but I neglected to tape myself doing so. If you don't believe me, ask Mandi or Jason. And they're right, it's not bad at all, aside from some strange textures, though I wouldn't go so far as to say it's similar to chicken. Chicken doesn't have tiny legs that can get stuck in your teeth. Unless you have an enormous mouth.

6440

Sweet Juicy Clarification

Yesterday I had a wonderful video conference with the PI communications people in Orlando. It's been a long time since we all have spoken, a bit too long, actually. Having been in Chiang Mai recently, a lot of questions and thoughts have been lingering on the tip of my brain, and I wanted to get them out before they disappeared into the recesses of my brain.

Actually, yesterday was just a great day overall. I went to bed early and got up at 5:00, (Hopefully it won't be happening again anytime soon. Thanks jet-lag!!!) spent a long while thinking about the questions I had, and then went on a 40 minute walk in the crisp Central Oregon air, smelling faintly of juniper. I've discovered recently that I do some of my best thinking while walking, so I spent a while praying, truly grateful to my creator for his answers to prayer. So when I got back home, I was ready for our conversation, despite it being at 7am Pacific time.

It was wonderful having the time to really process through my thoughts and questions, though it meant Matt and Caryn would get a bit of an earful of substantial questions. They were able to give me significant clarification on some issues, and not as much on others, though they weren't even aware these were things to ponder before I asked them. It was a great conversation, and I was totally energized afterward. Not all of my questions were answered, but the turbid waters of my poor little brain experienced a small stream of clarity, sweet juicy clarity.

This morning I got an email explaining my stint in Orlando before heading to the field. It will be a time to "get a taste of what happens from the mobilization end of things, and also get a greater idea of the intended audiences for the pieces [I'll] be creating." I'm excited at the prospect of spending time in Orlando with purpose, and this is such a great reason for staying in there for a bit. Feeling a couple steps closer to the field, I had begun to feel like time in Orlando was going to be a bit of a waste of time, one more thing to keep me from the field, but now I'm excited about the prospect. Thank God for the wisdom of others. So now I'll be in Orlando for as little as 2 months with purpose and direction. Woo hoo! And now you're all caught up and the various goings on of the last hour.

Cheers.

6033

New Pics Online!!!

Hey, I posted a bunch of photos of our trip to Thailand on Facebook. Check them out right here!

5885

What I Need and What I Want

I've been reviewing the video footage I captured in Thailand. My poor little camera (my better camera was too big to take on this trip) has seen better days. It began crapping out a little, the tiny flip-out screen beginning to flicker and sputter every now and again. The footage I got with this stalwart soldier of a camera is adequate, but I've certainly reached the end of its usefulness. Perhaps this was this little camera's last hurrah.

Working within the limitations of my equipment is something I'm fairly accustomed to. I'm used to taking sub-standard equipment and either making do, or pushing it to it's limits of use. Using my little camera has given me reason to reflect on whether my dissatisfaction in my equipment is justifiable: am I ungrateful for what I have, or do I really desire to do the very best I can? I long for the chance to work with equipment that does what I want it to do, that allows me to be limited more by my own creativity and less by my gear. I've begun to pray that God would allow me to have a couple pieces of equipment, including a particular video camera which would be perfect for the kind of work I will be doing. This camera costs thousands of dollars, but I'm beginning to understand trusting God in prayer. Please pray with me that He will allow me to have the proper tools for this work. I want badly to give my very best, and while I don't know how I can get this equipment, I know He can do it. Pray with me. Thanks.

5318

Impressions Part 1

I shall return to Chiang Mai.

I’m starting this blog around 11:45 pm in Bangkok’s Suvarnabhumi International Airport, arguably the least comfortable and least inviting airport in the world. We are wrapping up our two and a half week trip to Chiang Mai, Thailand, desperately trying to reset our internal clocks back 14 hours by staying up far beyond the point of exhaustion. Well, I’m staying up as late as I can. Mandi is currently trying to sleep on the cold and hard airport floor, which seems to be inviting the stares of every Thai person walking by. I don’t know if we’re being culturally insensitive or just some sort of farang freak show on display for everyone to gawk at. Either way, I’m just tired enough to be less understanding and more irritable about the one-sided staring contest. Great time to write and reflect on our trip, no?

Mandi and I, on our plane ride from Chiang Mai to Bangkok, were talking a bit about our return to the states, and the slight dread of the inevitable repeated question, “How was your trip?” Every major trip involves about a week of that same question, slowly driving you mad, or at least motivating you less and less to give trip details, and motivating you more and more to hone in on that elusive under-one-minute synopsis. So I’m going to provide my take on our trip here in digital form so that we have a place to refer people to if they desire further information.

The phrase “I shall return” seems to encapsulate my feelings about this trip. I began the trip with the goal of impartiality, to observe and weigh my options without getting too caught up in the experience. That mode of operation didn’t last long. Once we really got into the trip, experiencing life in Chiang Mai, meeting loads of Pioneers personnel, I was hooked and sold very quickly. Coming in, I really didn’t know what, or rather who, to expect. I had “met” a handful of the people working in Chiang Mai via email or Skype, but had no concrete reference as to who these people were and what they were really like. I can get along with a wide spectrum of personalities, but I truly enjoy a much narrower slice of that same spectrum. It’s like my personality can coexist with a full rainbow of colors, but really does well with emerald green, or chartreuse, or mauve. Much to my surprise, I found that many of the people working in the SE Asia area are remarkably close to that emerald green, chartreuse, or mauve I was really hoping for, a huge blessing and relief, to be sure.

4539

Impressions Part 2

There were three distinct parts to our trip, so distinct that it felt a bit like we had taken three separate trips. Our first trip was with our friends the Sheahans, who were extraordinarily generous with their time, and kind in helping us secure some fabulous and inexpensive housing for the first few days. We were shown around several markets in town, given pointers on how to navigate the city, and were exposed to a variety of ethnic foods (and to the concept of ridiculously-cheap eating out.) We got lost for the first time, took our first songthaw and tuk-tuk rides, and began our crash course in Thai culture. Our second trip was out at Pioneers’ SE Asia retreat. There we got a chance to meet the area and team leaders before most of the others arrived, got a chance to meet handfuls of really great people originally from the US and Australia and all over Asia, and told our stories over and over (a bit of foreshadowing of telling about this trip over and over up our return...?) We spent a lot of time in the sun, chatting with new friends, and played the coolest game of Ultimate Frisbee ever with the youth and their incredible retreat leaders. (Ever played Ultimate at night in the dark with a light-up frisbee and 2,000 glow-sticks marking the field and the two teams as a thunderstorm approached? If you ever get the chance, take it!) We were able to make some real connections with real people, and it was awesome. Our third trip was back in town, a whirlwind tour of CommNet’s (the team I’ll be joining as soon as I can) future beginnings and teammates. We celebrated Easter with the regional leader here and felt very much like a part of the family. We participated in Songkran, a three-day Thai celebration centered around the world’s largest waterfight. (I’ve never experienced anything like it. People stand on the side of the road near the center of town, or drive in vehicles around the center of town, and spray, splash and douse every human being in sight for three whole days. And everybody loves it. Not a sour face to be seen, despite perhaps having been sprayed right in the face while riding a motor scooter. It’s crazy.) I ate my first calamari (in a fantastic curry) and my first grasshopper (deep-fried, everything tastes the same, though the texture of eating a good-sized bug was a little unnerving.) I also got to drive for the first time on the left side of the road, shifting with my left hand (Thanks Kelly!) My future CommNet teammate, Jason, is an intense, insightful, and passionate photographer (and an INTP like me, for those of you who know Meyers-Briggs) with whom I am very excited to work. He’s the man, for sure, and I very much look forward to working with him. And now we’re heading back home, despite not really wanting to. Three trips, all great in their own way.

I took plenty of video footage on this trip, but it’s going to take a bit to compile it and make something interesting and useful out of it. I’ll post it here when it’s ready, but it’ll probably be a couple weeks.

I think to a small degree this trip feels like a bit of a tease, a glimpse at what could be, but won’t happen for a while. But I’m going to see it as a taste of things to come, a shadow of things to come. I can’t say I’m looking forward to going back to life as usual, a job I’m not always satisfied with, but now there is the tiniest glimpse at what God has for me, and that will have to be enough. Please pray with me for the thing I’ve been praying for for so long: patience. I just can’t seem to understand the years of waiting, culminating to more waiting, soon followed by still more waiting. I’m sure my lack of patience is in part due to my inability to fully relinquish my life into His hands. I know that He is good and everything happens for a reason, a good and perfect plan, and I need to learn to put trust in that. He certainly answered my prayers for this trip: safety, revelation, and good health. And where He is faithful in the small things in life, he’s unbelievably faithful in the big things in life. I pray I can give it all to Him. If anyone can change my impatient heart, surely the creator of the universe can do wonders. Thanks for your prayers, and keep ‘em coming. Blessings to you all.

I shall return to Chiang Mai.